Broken Hearted
by CaseyL
Summary: Another take on what happens to Rayna and Deacon right after the accident. Can their lives ever be the same?
1. Chapter 1

**A slightly different take based on some of the rumors I've heard through the grapevine. I don't own these characters, all owned by ABC.**

##

She heard a loud beeping, but all she felt was pain. The most extreme pain that she ever felt in her entire life, and she wasn't sure what hurt worse, her body or her heart.

She heard a doctor screaming beside her, but it sounded like he was a million miles away.

"She's crashing, I don't think she's breathing, we need to stop the bleeding."

"Her injuries are too extensive, we have to put her in a coma to give the swelling on her brain time to go down."

Those were the last words Rayna heard before she drifted off.

_When she woke up she was a teenager again walking into the bluebird with the guitar her mother had given her when she turned_ _10_. _It was a little small for her now, but she didn't care, it comforted her and made her feel like her mother was with her, watching over her._

_There was a boy on stage, couldn't have been more than 19, brown hair, piercing blue eyes, and some of the best hands she'd ever seen play guitar. He was playing a love song that sounded so sweet she almost started to cry right there. She leaned over to Watty sitting beside her. _

"_Who's that?"_

"_Deacon Claybourne, just arrived from Alabama, but he's already making a splash in Nashville. People are saying he's the next big thing."_

_Watty looked over at Rayna, her own blue eyes were fixated on the boy on stage with an intensity that he hadn't seen since her mother had died. _

"_Don't get any ideas Rayna, you're too young for him."_

"_I'm 16, and there's nothing wrong with looking. Introduce me. Please?"_

_Watty could never deny the girl anything. She was too much like her mother. _

"_Alright."_

_When Deacon finished his set Watty walked Rayna over to him. _

"_Hey Deacon, nice set."_

"_Thanks Watty, glad you think so."_

"_I want you to meet Rayna Wyatt, I know she's young, but I think she's going to be big someday."_

_Deacon glanced up at Rayna as he was putting his guitar in the case. She was certainly pretty enough, but he had been with his share of pretty._

"_Well, I'll have to watch out for her then, since I know you wouldn't say that about just anyone Watty."_

_Deacon reached out his hand and shook Rayna's. Her heart skipped a beat at the contact._

"_Pleased to meet you darlin.'"_

"I'm bringing her out of the coma, but just to check her vitals, they still seem pretty weak, but she's begun to stabilize. Rayna, how are you feeling?"

Rayna let out a soft moan, then gasped for breath.

"She's still too injured, let's put her back under and maintain her breathing tube.

_Rayna was in the back of her tour bus with Deacon. They were making out in one of the bunks, getting real hot and heavy when all of a sudden the curtain was pulled back._

"_Deacon!" Vince yelled. "I know you love that lovely lady of yours, but you promised me you'd be my wingman tonight at that bar down on Beale St. I hear the ladies there are extra, well, you know."_

"_Can't you see I'm busy Vince?"_

_Deacon tried to pull the curtain back, but Vince was standing in the way. _

"_Come on man, you've already got a lady, but I don't. Just a couple of hours, then you can be back here hugging and kissing Rayna, and I can be with my new lady love."_

_Rayna gave Deacon a look that said she was annoyed, but she knew Vince would keep bothering them until Deacon relented._

"_Are you sure darlin'?"_

"_Yeah, just go. But don't drink too much this time."_

"_I promise, I'll be totally clear headed when I return."_

_Deacon kissed Rayna and the two men ran out the door and jumped into a pick up truck that Vince had found somewhere._

_That was the last time Rayna saw Vince alive. The next time she saw him was at his funeral. It was also the last time she believed Deacon when he said he was going to come home sober. _

"I'm not going to lie to you, it doesn't look good, but we're trying our best."

"Why is she in a coma," Tandy asked.

"We put her there so she wouldn't harm herself while she begins to heal, but don't take that as a sign of her being in worse shape than she is, we can wake her up when we want to."

"Can she here us?"

"She may be able to, but even when I've woken her up she hasn't really been present."

_Rayna was at her father's house for dinner. It was just her, not Deacon. He and Lamar had always been on bad terms, they just rubbed each other the wrong way, but since the accident and the three stints in rehab it was practically explosive between them. _

"_Where's that loser boyfriend of yours?"_

"_He's not a loser daddy, he's just going through a hard time."_

"_When are you going to wise up and dump that boy. You are so special Rayna, you're a Wyatt, and he's just bringing you down."_

"_I love him Daddy, we've been together for 10 years, when are you going to get used to the fact that Deacon isn't going anywhere?"_

"_He's a drunk Rayna, are you really going to spend the rest of your life with a drunk?"_

"_He got sober, he's not drinking anymore."_

"_What, for 20 days? Once a drunk, always a drunk."_

"_I am not going to stand here and take this from you. Until you treat the man I love with some respect I can't be in the same room as you."_

_Rayna stood up from the table spilling her wine. She stopped to clean it up, then thought better of it and stormed out the door. _

_The moment she opened the door to their house she knew something was off. It was too quiet. Deacon wasn't a loud person, but he was a little fidgety, and if left alone he was usually strumming his guitar or writing something on the piano. But tonight was silence. _

_Rayna quietly shut the door and walked into the living room. Deacon was sitting on the couch with his feet up on the table slowly reaching the end of a glass of what could be nothing else but whiskey._

"_Deacon!"_

_Deacon panicked when he saw her. He dropped the glass and ran to her, wrapping his arms around her tightly._

"_I'm so sorry Ray, it was just one drink, that's all I had."_

_Rayna pulled away from him, tears in her eyes._

"_You have to stop this! We can't go on like this."_

_Deacon sat down in the chair in the corner and put his face in his hands. _

"_I know, I'll do anything. I'll go back to rehab. Just don't leave me. Please don't leave me."_

"Ok, we're pulling her out of the coma again to check her vitals. Rayna, can you here me? If you can squeeze my hand."

Rayna's eyes began to flutter open, and the family saw Rayna apply some pressure to the doctor's hand.

"Mom, are you awake? Mom?"

Daphne leaned towards the bed reaching out to touch her mother.

"Stay back Daph, we have to be careful with her."

"OK dad."

All of a sudden Rayna starts to choke and her right arm flails towards the tube in her mouth trying to pull it out.

"She's having a gag reflex due to the breathing tube, we have to put her back under!"

"What's happening?" Daphne yelled.

Lamar tried to calm her down. "It's going to be ok honey. Look, she's calming down."

Maddie started to shake and sob, "She doesn't look ok."

_Rayna was sitting in her bathroom on the toilet. She kept staring over and over again at the stick with the little plus sign. She started to panic. What was she going to do? This was not the right time to have a baby, hell she wasn't even positive who the father was. Well, to be honest, she was pretty sure it was Deacon's. She hadn't been having unprotected sex with Teddy so it was unlikely it was his, but there was a part of her that hoped it was his. It would be much easier that way, no real decision. She would just marry the father of her baby and try to build a life with him, leave her old life with Deacon behind. _

_But there was another huge part of her that ached for it to be Deacon's. She loved him so much, would having a baby keep him sober? She thought back to a few weeks ago when he was at her house smashing around in anger when he'd found out about Teddy. How could she even think about bringing a baby into that world. She loved Deacon more than anything, but she couldn't risk putting her baby through what she'd gone through for the last few years. No, no matter what, this baby had to be Teddy's even if it meant breaking Deacon's heart, even if it meant breaking her own._

"Hold on Rayna, you have to be strong for those girls. And to be honest, I don't know what would happen to Daddy if you died. We all love you so much. I talked to Deacon's doctor. They said he's going to be ok. Just a few non-critical injuries. Dammit Rayna, they said he was drinking, why did you get into a car with him drinking? It's been 26 years, you should have known better. I know you love him, but you have to think about your family."

_Rayna was in her house packing for St. Lucia. She was trying to put the conversation she'd had with Deacon backstage out of her mind, but she couldn't stop herself from going there. Things weren't going well with Stacey. Because of her. He still loved her. The pit that had been in her stomach since she'd met Stacey outside of the hotel in New York was suddenly gone. She loved Deacon, he was hers. She'd tried to cover that up with fake smiles and well wishes, make out sessions with Liam, but in the end it came down to the fact she was madly in love with Deacon, always had been, and always would be. She'd been pushing it down for so long, that now that she was divorced from Teddy she still had trouble believing there was nothing standing in their way. _

_She threw down the top she was packing and jumped in her SUV. She wasn't even sure what she was going to say when she got there, but she knew that if he was alone when he opened the door there was no way she was coming back home tonight. She pulled up in front of his house and walked to the front door. She stood there a moment trying to figure out what to say, then just went for it and rang the bell._

_"Hey"_

_"Hey."_

_"Are you alone?"_

_"What's going on Ray?"_

_"I know you're trying to move on with your life, and I'm trying to move on with my life, but...I love you. That's just never not been true."_

_"Are you trying to kill me? What are you doing? Two hours ago you were getting on a plane with Liam, and you told me to get back with Stacey, now you're standing here on my porch telling me this now?"_

_"I love you, that is the truth, and you can do with that what you will, but I needed to tell you, and so I did."_

_Rayna turned around to go, but she walked slowly hoping that he'd come after her. When she hear him say "hey" she flew around jumping into his arms. He pulled her close kissing her more passionately than she'd been kissed in years, but more than the passion, she was home again._

"How is she doing doctor? Her family has been asking if she's doing better."

"She's stabilized for the time being, but I have to say, there's something restless about her that isn't typical of someone who's in a coma. I'm not quite sure if she wants to live. There's clearly something that's upsetting her."

_Rayna was sitting at the Bluebird listening to Juliette sing a song she wrote in tribute to her mother. It was so sad. Rayna was trying to stay positive, but with everything going on with Deacon all she could do was worry. Why hadn't he called her yet? Cole said he had sobered up._

_All of a sudden she felt a presence enter the room, she turned her head and there he was standing by the entrance leaning on the host stand. She got up and ran towards him, but he turned and hightailed it out of the club._

"_Hey,"_

"_Leave me alone."_

"_Come here."_

"_Go away."_

"_No, come here, I want to talk to you."_

"_Leave me alone Rayna."_

"_Come on babe, please talk to me."_

"_Please god, go back inside please."_

"_Are you drunk?"_

"_Go back inside."_

"_Slide over, right now. I am not letting you drive."_

"_Damn it Rayna, let me go!"_

_He fought for a second then realized it was futile and handed her the keys. She got in the drivers seat and pulled out of the parking lot. At first he was just clutching the bottle and glaring at her."_

"Damn it Teddy, this is all your fault."

"My fault Lamar? How is this my fault?"

"If you had managed to keep her happy she would have never ran back to that loser, Maddie would have never gone searching for info on them, and Rayna would have never been in that car with him."

"_Can't you put the bottle down for a minute and talk to me."_

"_What do you want me to say Ray? There's nothing to say. You lied to me, for 13 years. Our whole relationship is based on a lie."_

"_That's not true, I love you, I've always loved you."_

"_Yeah right, you loved me so much that you gave my baby to another man to raise."_

"_When was I supposed to tell you Deacon? Look at yourself, the first thing you did when I told you about Maddie was drink, how would things have been different if I'd told you 13 years ago."_

"_I don't know maybe they wouldn't have been any different, but that wasn't your call to make Rayna, she's my daughter! You stole my daughter!"_

"_Don't you play the victim here Deacon. If you could have stayed sober all those years we were together I wouldn't have had to lie."_

"_So now it's my fault, if I wasn't such a fuck up?"_

"_No, that's not what I meant. I'm just trying to explain, but it's impossible to get through to you with you continuing to get wasted. How is getting wasted helping anything?"_

"_That's my choice Ray, you don't have any say in what goes on in my life anymore."_

"You know what Lamar, Rayna was happy, she was happy for a long time, and then she wasn't, and she didn't leave me, I left her. She didn't abandon her family like your wife did. She didn't run away from me, like Rayna's mom ran away from you."

Lamar gave him a look that was anger and hurt all rolled into one. He started to speak but all of a sudden the machines in the room began to beep and the doctors rushed in.

"What's going on?"

"She's starting to seize. Everyone out of the room."

"_Give me that bottle."_

"_No! Watch the road."_

"_I'm watching the road!"_

_Then all of a sudden she realized she wasn't. Rayna looked up and saw the Lexus flying into the intersection. She turned the wheel as hard as she could to avoid it, but it was too late, the car started to flip."_

The doctor walked out to the waiting room and up to Teddy and Lamar.

"She's stabilized, we think if she remains stable through the night she should be ok, but it will be a couple of weeks at the earliest until she's out of the hospital.

"OK," Lamar sighed. "As long as she's ok."

##

Deacon woke up in the hospital. He wasn't really sure what had happened, but all he knew was that he hurt. His left hand was wrapped up in one of those big bandages that could only be a bad sign. Scarlett was sitting beside the bed.

"Welcome back Uncle Deacon."

"Hey Darlin', where am I? What happened?"

"You don't remember the accident?"

"Oh, a car accident? Yeah, now that you're saying it, I sort of remember."

"You're car was totaled. You're lucky to be alive."

"Yeah, I guess so."

All of a sudden he remembered that he wasn't in the car alone.

"Rayna? How's Rayna?"

"They say she's not doing so well. She's in one of those medically induced comas."

Deacon got quiet and looked like he was going to be sick to his stomach.

"Oh, I see."

"Do you want to see her? I'm sure the nurses would wheel you over there."

Deacon had so many mixed emotions about Rayna. He was glad she was still alive, but he was also still incredibly mad at her, and he didn't want to have to explain that to Scarlett.

"No, I don't, I think her family wouldn't want me around anyway."

At that moment the doctor walked in the door.

"Mr. Claybourne. Good to see you up. You're one lucky fella. Besides your left hand you're really not too badly injured."

"Well doc, I'm going to be honest with you, my left hand is really all that matters. Is it going to be ok?"

"Well, it's really too early to tell. Give it a couple of weeks to heal, and we'll see how we're doing then."

Deacon shifted in the bed and took a deep breath. His left hand was everything, if he couldn't play guitar, what was he?

"We'll probably be sending you home in a day or two. Is there someone there to watch over you?"

"I'm going to be moving in with him."

"No need to do that Scarlett."

"I want to, plus, I have to move out of my place, Gunnar had some crazy idea that he wanted to propose. We're just not ready for that. I think we need some space."

"OK, but this isn't babysitting, if you need a place to crash that's fine."

"Just a place to crash, I promise."

Deacon closed his eyes and tried to block out everything that had happened in the last week, but all he could hear were the sirens, and all he could see was Rayna screaming at him before the crash. Whatever happens with his hand, he knew that the life he had been living before with Rayna, with the tour, that was all a thing of the past.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a few weeks since Rayna had gotten out of the hospital, but she was still exhausted. She lay on the couch with her feet up while Tandy fluttered around bringing her soup and fluffing her pillow.

"I'm ok Tandy, I'm not going to break."

"I know, I just hate to see you be anything less than your usual self."

"I'll get there. It's just going to take some time."

All of a sudden the doorbell rang and Tandy jumped up again.

"I'll get that."

When she walked back in the room she was with a tall good-looking man holding a large bouquet of flowers.

"I brought company."

"Hi, I'm Jeff, the new executive over at Edgehill."

"Oh right, Bucky had told me there was someone new over there."

"I know you're recuperating, but I just wanted to come over and deliver these flowers myself."

"Edgehill already sent flowers, how many flowers does one girl need?"

"Well, these are from me personally, and as my ex-wife always used to say, a girl can never have too many flowers or jewels."

"Well, she sounds like a winner."

"Anyway, I won't keep you, but I just wanted to introduce myself, and say how happy we all are at Edgehill that you're getting better. You know, your album sales have been skyrocketing since the accident."

"That's what they tell me."

"Well, if there's anything I can do, anything at all, don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you, I will."

Tandy showed Jeff to the door and then came back into the room giving Rayna a look like if I wasn't involved with your manager I'd be all over that piece of man candy."

"He's cute."

"Don't even think about it Tandy. I have enough problems with the men in my life right now."

"You mean the men you're ignoring? When are you signing the divorce papers with Teddy? And it's been over a month since the accident, when are you going to go over and see Deacon?"

"He doesn't want to see me Tandy. I was in the hospital for two weeks and he never came to see me despite the fact that he was released a week earlier than me."

"Did you hear he hurt his hand?"

"Yeah, Cole told me. That's just another thing I feel guilty about regarding him. I can't see him. He's just going to yell, and I'm going to cry, and I just don't have the strength to deal with it right now."

"Well you can't avoid him forever."

"Maybe not, but right now I'm going to stretch it out as long as possible."

##

Scarlett walked into the house and started putting the groceries away. As she put the cans of Spaghetti O's on the top shelf she heard some slow guitar music coming from the other room. Then all of a sudden it stopped abruptly.

"Damn!"

"Deacon! Are you ok?"

Scarlett rushed into the living room to find Deacon sitting on the couch trying to play a difficult lick on his guitar.

"I'm fine darling, it just hurts like hell when I stretch my finger like this."

"You shouldn't be doing that yet, the doctor said to let it rest and go through with the physical therapy before trying to play again."

"Listen Darlin', either it's going to get better or it's not, and if it's not, I'm just going to have to get used to the pain, because there is no way I'm never going to play guitar again. So I should just get used to it now."

Scarlett sighed. "Alright, I'm going to make some dinner, just don't push it."

"I won't."

Scarlett walked back into the kitchen and watched Deacon trying to play another song. Her heart ached for him, but she knew there was nothing she could do.

##

Scarlett and Deacon came out of the physical therapist's office. It had been a particularly grueling session, and she could tell that he was exhausted both physically and emotionally.

"Everything takes time. You can't expect to be back to normal so soon. You have to have patience."

"I think I used most of my patience up years ago Darlin'. Especially when it comes to not being able to play guitar."

They were standing next to their car about to get in when all of a sudden a woman approached them. She was quite pretty, mid-30s, polished look about her that seemed more like Lamar and Tandy's world, than that of country music.

"Deacon Claybourne?"

"Yeah, who's asking?"

"I'm Caitlin, Caitlin Rogers. I read about your accident in the paper. I'm so sorry about your hand."

Deacon wasn't sure what was going on here, but he knew that she was getting at something, and he didn't want to bite.

"Thanks, have a nice day." Deacon started to duck into the car.

"Actually, I'm an attorney. I was wondering if you already had someone to represent you?"

Deacon stopped and popped back up. "Represent me? In what?"

"Your legal suite against Rayna Jaymes. You are going to sue her for damages aren't you?"

"Sue?"

"She was responsible for the car accident right? She was driving."

"Yeah, but…"

"No buts. She was driving, she's libel. And if she injured your hand, she should have to pay for that. I mean, why should she make millions when you're having to go through painful hours of physical therapy."

"Well, she was hurt too."

"Of course, but not her career. Here," Caitlin reached out and handed Deacon a card. "Take my number. Call me when you decide to stand up for yourself and get what's coming to you."

Caitlin walked away and Deacon and Scarlett got in the car.

"She's crazy thinking you're going to sue Rayna. You and Rayna have been best friends since before I was born. She clearly doesn't know the two of you."

"You know what Scarlett, I don't know if I ever knew us either. Maybe suing isn't such a bad idea."

Scarlett glanced to the side at Deacon trying to hide the look of worry on her face.

"You don't have to tell me, but what exactly happened with you and Rayna? I thought you two were back together. Did she cheat on you?"

"No, she didn't cheat on me, and no, I don't need to tell you."

"OK, but if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

##

Rayna was sitting in the recording studio at Soundcheck. She and Bucky were chatting about where they would start Scarlett's tour. Bucky was thinking of starting small in the southeast, but Rayna was wanting to go big with cities like Chicago and San Francisco.

"I don't know Rayna, she's still unknown. Let's get her album finished first before we hit some of the bigger cities."

Scarlett walked in and sat down at the table with them.

"Hey Scarlett, we're just trying to figure out where you're going to tour."

"When do you think the tour will start?"

Rayna gave her a big smile and lots of her standard enthusiasm. If she couldn't be excited about her own career right now at least she could be excited about someone else's. "Well, we were hoping to get you out there sometime next month if possible."

"OK, just as long as Deacon's doing alright by then. I'm a little worried about leaving him alone."

Rayna's chipper veneer started to show a bit of crack.

"How is your uncle doing?"

"He's alright. Physical therapy's been a bit hard. You know Deacon, he just doesn't ever want to except defeat, so I have faith that he'll be able to use his hand again."

"How are his spirits?"

"Well, I'm not got to lie to you, he's definitely been better, but I haven't been scared of him falling off the wagon or nothing."

"That's good." Rayna gave a weak smile and her voice got soft. "Well tell him I say hey, alright?"

"Of course."

Just then a man walked into room that no one knew.

"Can I help you?" Bucky asked.

He walked right up to Rayna.

"Rayna Jaymes?"

"Yes?"

The man pulled out an envelope and handed it to Rayan. "You've been served."

"Oh man, what is Teddy doing now?"

Rayna opened the paper and read the document.

"What?" She stared at it in disbelief.

"What's going on?" Bucky asked.

"Deacon is suing me for $1.5 million. It says I'm responsible for him injuring his hand."

"That's ridiculous, he's the one who was drunk, he would have probably killed himself if you hadn't been driving that night."

"I know he's mad, but I can't believe that he's doing this. What is Maddie going to think?"

Rayna realized that she had just said that in front of Scarlett and turned to make sure the girl hadn't noticed she'd said it, but Scarlett was just giving her an embarrassed look.

"I'm so sorry Rayna, I knew he was talking about this, but I didn't think he'd really do it."

"Don't worry Scarlett, this has nothing to do with you. It's 100% between Deacon and myself."

Rayna sat back on the couch continuing to look at the document and just shake her head.

"Well, I guess here goes legal battle number two. Why do all the men in my life want to serve me papers?"

##

Cole and Deacon sat across from each other in a booth at the coffee shop. It had seemed that over the years the two of them had had some of their heaviest conversations here. Today, the smell of coffee and fresh Danishes didn't distract from the weight in the air predicting that this one wouldn't be any different.

Deacon was just about to take a sip of his coffee when his phone rang.

"Hold on a minute Cole. This is Deacon."

"Hey, yeah, Nov. 1st? Really? That far away, can't we get a sooner court date? Oh yeah, of course I can come in next week for a deposition. Will it just be me and you, or will it be Rayna and her lawyer too? Sure, yeah, I can do that. See you later."

Deacon hung up the phone and tried to ignore the disapproving look on Cole's face.

"What's going on with this lawsuit Deacon?"

"What do you mean? I'm suing Rayna for damages due to her injuring my hand. I can't play anymore professionally, and she's to blame. She's made millions off her record sales since the accident while I can't work, I just think I'm owed a little here."

"And if that's what this was I wouldn't have a problem, but this is about one thing Deacon, and it doesn't have anything to do with money."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah, that's right Deacon. I've known you for over 25 years and not once have I known you to give a damn about having millions of dollars. In fact, you've always shied away from having money like that. You've got money coming in from the writing royalties, I know that even if you can't go back to playing you're not going to starve, so tell me what this is about?"

"Why don't you tell me since you seem to know already."

"Fine, this is about what it's always been about…staying close to Rayna."

Deacon laughed and fiddled with his piece of pie. "You must be crazy because the last thing I want to do these days is stay close to Rayna."

"Alright, so maybe it's with a little revenge mixed in for what she did with Maddie, but I've always been right about the two of you. Maybe you can stay away from the alcohol, the pills, but you just can't seem to get Rayna Jaymes out of your system."

Deacon started to become more agitated. "You're off-base here Cole."

"Am I? See I don't think I am. You have too much pride to forgive her, but you can't let her go, so you've concocted this ridiculous law suit that you'll drag out for months just so you can be near her. We both know Rayna would just give you that money if you needed it."

"I'm not a beggar."

"What's the difference if you're asking in person or legally? Either way you're asking Rayna for money."

"This conversation is done Cole."

"Fine, it's done, but just think about it. If you really want to move on with your life without Rayna, maybe the first thing you should do is stop trying to bring her back into your life. Or maybe it's just time for me to give up and realize there's no saving the two of you from each other. As long as you two are breathing you're never going to be able to separate completely."

Cole stuck up his hand and called the waitress over. He asked for the bill, then went back to drinking his coffee. Deacon sat across from him, still fiddling with the same piece of pie. He knew Cole was right, but there was no way he was going to admit it.


	3. Chapter 3

**I know this might not be the most popular chapter, but I'm trying to stay as true to what I think will happen in season 2 as possible, and I'm sure there will be other love interests.**

##

Rayna walked into the office at Edgehill. She had a meeting with Jeff about the direction of her record label. From what she'd heard he had some more innovative ideas about the future of country music than Marshall, so she was more excited for this meeting than she would have been in the past.

"Ms. Jaymes. Jeff will see you now."

"Thanks, Mindy."

Rayna walked into Jeff's palatial office at the end of the hall and sat down in front of his desk. He was still on the phone and it gave her a chance to look him over. Tandy was right, he was gorgeous. 6'1", dark hair, blue eyes, a day's worth of stubble. In fact, if she thought about it, he looked a lot like Deacon did about 10 years ago. Jeff put up his hand to make an apology to Rayna for still being on the phone, but it was fine with her, it gave her a chance to scan his office for clues about his past. There was a 1963 Fender Stratocaster on the stand in the corner, a signed baseball from someone Rayna had never heard of in a case, and a photo of Jeff with two little blond girls.

When he got off the phone he noticed her staring at the photo.

"Those are my nieces. 6 and 9. Great ages."

"Yeah, the best."

"Listen Rayna, I'm not going to beat around the bush with you, we're real excited about the two new artists you signed to your label, but we really need to talk about branding. I'm not saying they have to be Juliette Barnes, but there has to be just a little bit of pop to make it in this business today. Unfortunately it's no longer all about the music."

"I know that, I hired a stylist to work with both Will and Scarlett, but I think you'll really be impressed with the music they're putting out."

"I'm sure I will, I can't wait to hear it. Why don't we discuss it a little more over dinner tonight."

Rayna was a little taken aback. Marshall was never asking her out to dinner, at least not without Bucky in tow.

"Oh Jeff, I'd love to, but I have my girls tonight."

"What about Friday?"

Well, if nothing he was persistent. Rayna felt a little uncomfortable. She hadn't seen Deacon since the accident, but they'd never broken up, and in her mind she was still his.

"I'm actually seeing someone Jeff."

"Really? I hadn't realized that you'd had time to meet anyone since you got out of the hospital?"

"Oh no, I was with this person before the accident."

"Oh, you mean Deacon."

Rayna was shocked, it hadn't been common knowledge that she and Deacon were back together before the CMAs.

"I'm sorry, you look surprised. I make it my point to know what's going on in every aspect of my artists' lives. I'd just heard that you guys had broken up. I'm glad to know that I'd heard wrong."

Rayna shifted in her chair, this is not the conversation she thought she'd be having.

"Back to Highway 65."

"Right, well, I have to run into another meeting. Let's do that dinner anyway, and bring Deacon if you want. Friday at 7:00 at The Catbird Seat?"

"Um, sure."

"Great, see you then."

Rayna got up and walked out. She wasn't sure what just happened, but she knew enough to realize she was no longer in control of the situation.

##

Deacon was in his kitchen with Caitlin going over the paperwork for the deposition.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, I mean, I barely remember what went on in the car. I was pretty drunk, and I may have been distracting her."

"Listen, she was the one driving, you deserve that money."

Caitlin reached over and put her hand on Deacon's hand. He looked up at her, he knew where she was going with this, and he wasn't so sure it was a good idea. But before he could protest she had moved her hand to his face and was kissing him. He started to push her away, something about it just felt wrong, but then he just said fuck it and went with it. It had been a while since there'd been anything good in his life.

Kissing Caitlin felt strange. Not that he hadn't been with his share of new women before, but when he and Rayna had gotten back together he was sure that he'd never kiss another woman again, and here he was less than four months later with someone else's lips pressed against his.

For years every new woman he was with he'd try to compare to Rayna. One used the same shampoo, another the cherry lip balm she'd always used. He'd hold onto those things, longed for them. But right now all he wanted was different than Rayna, and Caitlin fit that bill. She didn't feel like Rayna, she didn't taste like Rayna, and she certainly didn't act like Rayna.

Afterwards he lay in bed feeling empty. She was asleep beside him with her hand resting on his chest. He lightly removed her hand and got out of bed. He walked downstairs and picked up his guitar. He started strumming with his right hand and playing some simple chords with his left. It hurt like crazy, but right now the pain was better than feeling nothing at all.

##

A couple of days later Deacon was sitting on his porch swing same guitar in hand when Rayna walked up to his porch. He saw her coming but wasn't sure what to do so he just kept strumming. She came up and sat down next to him on the swing. He just watched her until she relaxed into the seat.

"If you're here to talk me out of the lawsuit it's not going to work."

"I wouldn't dream of it. That's not why I'm here…well, mostly not why I'm here."

"Then I'm not sure why you're here Ray, I don't have anything to say to you."

"Are you ever going to talk to me again?" Rayna sighed.

"Isn't that what we're doing?"

"You know what I mean, we have to talk about this Deacon, avoiding talking about it isn't going to make it any better, and it's not going to make it go away."

Deacon stayed calm and placed his guitar on its stand. "I know that."

"Are you just going to never see me again? Never see Maddie again? You're her father Deacon and she knows it. She's been asking about you."

"I don't know what I'd say to her."

"She loves you, you love her, why don't you start with that."

"I know Ray, but maybe you and Teddy were right, maybe I'm just not cut out to be a dad."

"Well, you don't get that choice. You wanted all our secrets out on the table, well now they're out and you can't go back. You're a father, whether you wanted to be or not. Now's your chance to step up and show me I was wrong all those years ago."

"I just don't want to cause anyone anymore pain."

Rayna stayed quiet, but shook her head.

"Talking of pain, how's your hand doing?"

"It's seen better days."

"I've been in more pain than I've been letting on as well."

"Yeah, we have a way of always hurting each other, don't we Ray."

Rayna gave him a pained look, and he gave her an equally sad expression back, but it was the first time they'd really looked at each other since before the accident, the first time she felt like they had a connection, and she wanted it to last as long as possible. She reached over and grabbed his left hand. She held it in both of hers and began to massage it gently. Deacon winced a little at the contact, but he didn't make an effort to pull it away. Instead they continued to stare into each other's eyes, almost in a trance as her fingers worked through the scar tissue.

After a minute she lifted his hand to her mouth and placed tender kisses on the palm. Then she let go with one of her hands and reached up and touched his face stroking the stubble on his cheek and chin. They moved together slowly, lips almost touching when Caitlin walked up to the porch.

"Deacon! What is she doing here? You shouldn't be talking to her without me around. She's just trying to manipulate you into dropping the suit."

"Excuse me, but who are you to tell me what's going on in my relationship with Deacon. Just because you're his lawyer doesn't give you some magical insight into what goes on with him and I."

"No, but sharing his bed might."

Rayna felt like someone had plunged a knife into her gut. Had she heard right? Was Deacon sleeping with this woman? She looked up at him hoping that he'd refute what Caitlin had just said, but he averted his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at her.

"She's right Rayna, it's probably time for you to be going."

Rayna couldn't breath. She picked up her purse and walked down the steps passed Caitlin who was smirking at her as she walked down the path. When she got into her car to pull away she picked up her phone and called Jeff.

"Hey, it's Rayna, it's just going to be me and you on Friday. See you then."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews. I realized that I'd completely forgotten about Teddy so there's a little of him sprinkled in here. Poor Eric Close, he's totally wasted playing Teddy. I know there's no Deacon/Rayna interaction in this chapter, but I've already wrote most of the next chapter so it's coming. **

##

Caitlin and Deacon walked into his house. She sat down on the couch, but he continued pacing.

"I really wish you hadn't of done that."

"Done what?"

"Tried to claim me in front of Rayna. Let's get one thing clear. I like you, and we're having some fun together, but I am _not_ your boyfriend, and you don't own me. What goes on between Rayna and I is none of your business."

Caitlin looked more amused than put out. " How is it not my business? Isn't what goes on between the two of you exactly what you hired me for? You are suing her Deacon, your relationship is now a legal matter. You need to get that through your head. Any interaction you have with her could affect the case."

"I can't live that way Caitlin. I'm starting to think this case is more of a hassle than it's worth."

"Hey, I'm not going to lie, I am invested in you winning this case. I could use the $250k, but I care about you Deacon, and I think your relationship with that woman is toxic, and I'm just looking out for your best interests."

Deacon finally sat down on the couch. He let Caitlin run her fingers through his hair, but relaxation was the last thing on his mind. None of this felt right.

##

Rayna walked into the conference room with her lawyer and sat down at the table. She realized that she'd soon have to walk into a similar room with Deacon to deal with their lawsuit, but today she was sitting across from Teddy and they were signing the final divorce papers.

Deacon hadn't tried to interject himself into the custody proceedings after the accident so all had gone pretty smoothly with Teddy. Today's meeting was merely a formality. She looked at Teddy and tried to smile, but she just didn't have it in her.

"How are you feeling Rayna?"

"I'm ok. Still some bumps and bruises, and my right ankle seems to ache when it rains, but besides that I'm good."

Teddy paused before he asked the next question wondering if he should go there, but then did it anyway.

"And Deacon?"

Rayna wasn't sure how to answer that. She didn't really want Teddy to interrogate her about her relationship problems with Deacon, but she didn't really want to lie either. She looked out the window as she answered him.

"I haven't really seen him so much since the accident. He's still pretty mad at me, in fact he's really not talking to me."

"Well, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I think that's probably for the best Rayna. That guy's a mess. He was a mess 14 years ago, and he's still a mess today. It's better that you found out now rather than a year from now after you'd done something stupid like marry him."

Rayna got really quiet. "I know. Whatever's best for the girls. That's all I want."

"Good, I'm glad we agree on that."

Teddy's lawyer interrupted them. "Who wants to sign first?"

Teddy reached over and signed the paper, then he passed it across to Rayna and she signed as well. They looked at each other a little more awkwardly then Teddy spoke up.

"So I get the girls on Sunday correct?"

"Yeah, I'll drop them off at your house."

"Great, I'll see you then."

Teddy got up and walked out of the room, and with that brief interaction her 13-year marriage was officially over.

##

Jeff picked Rayna up at her house. Since the accident driving wasn't her favorite thing, so she was glad for the reprieve. He pulled up in an S-class Mercedes that Rayna thought probably cost more than Deacon's house. After being with the floundering Teddy for so many years, it felt nice to be with someone who was both ambitious and successful.

She wore a green wrap dress that clung to her figure in all the right places and showed off her impossibly long legs. The silhouette of the dress was not lost on Jeff.

She caught him eyeing her from the drivers seat. "You look amazing."

Rayna smiled and thanked him. She stared over at him driving. He really was quite gorgeous. He had this look in his eye that he knew the affect that he had on women, and it didn't make him cocky, just confident. Liam had been exciting and sexy, but when it really came down to it he was an open book. Too affable, too warm, the funny guy, and as much as she didn't like to admit it, Rayna liked her men with a little bit of a jagged edge. Jeff was a mystery. There was something exciting about him, almost dangerous.

Whatever his edge, on the surface he was always the total gentleman. He opened her door at the restaurant, handled the reservations, and pulled out her chair at the table.

Conversation mostly revolved around the music business. Jeff had worked with some amazing artists as an exec, but he had started out on the road just like her.

"I played bass for a band out in Phoneix where I'm from. We met in high school and started touring around the country. We had some minor success but the life was hard. We'd opened for these big bands who would be making hundreds of thousands of dollars and we'd be splitting $500 for the whole band. Everyone thought we were living the high life which was a real joke.

"Yeah, I remember those days."

"By the time we got to Nashville Steve was getting married and Joe was having a baby so we split up and I got a job in the A&R department at a record company. If you asked me at 17 I would have told you that I'd never be a suit, but you know what, I really enjoy it. It's great to shape where a young kid's career is going, maybe offer him or her the helping hand I never got."

Rayna smiled back at him. "I know how you feel. That's exactly why I started Highway 65."

Rayna was enjoying herself much more than she thought she would. She had agreed to the date as a way to get back at Deacon for sleeping with Caitlin, but Jeff was turning out to be someone of promise.

She loved Deacon but things with them had always been so hard, and it was nice for things to be easy for a change. In some ways Jeff was the best of both Deacon and Teddy. He had the stability and affable personality of Teddy and the music chops of Deacon. Maybe it _was_ time for her to move on.

##

Rayna and Bucky sat in the recording studio with Will when Jeff walked in.

"If it isn't my favorite Queen of Country."

She smiled sweetly at him. He was awfully nice to her.

"We've got two tracks laid down for Will's album, and we're working on a third."

"That's great Rayna, but I want to talk to you about concerts."

"Well, we've planned to have he and Scarlett go out on the road in about three weeks. They open in St. Louis. "

"I was actually talking about you."

"Oh, me. Well, I've been so busy with the label that I haven't really thought about touring."

"Well, you know that Juliette has been continuing her own tour without you."

"What does Juliette touring have to do with Rayna, she wasn't the one who almost died in an accident," Bucky interjected.

"I realize that, and I'm not talking arena tours, but maybe something small, just to get you back out there. Your album is selling through the roof and we should strike while the iron is hot."

"I don't know Jeff. I'm feeling a bit fragile these days, and I get tired so easily. My body just isn't what it used to be."

"I wouldn't say that, it looks pretty fantastic to me."

He sure knew how to flatter a lady. If she had to admit it to herself, she was definitely enjoying all the attention that Jeff was lavishing on her. It was a nice contrast to the cold silence she was getting from Deacon.

"Well, let me start with one show somewhere small, just to get my feet wet."

"Why don't you play a show at the Bluebird," Bucky suggested. "You could do an intimate evening with Rayna Jaymes. I'm sure it would sell out in a second, and it would be super comfortable for you. Just something to get you playing in front of people again without having to run all over the stage."

"That's a great idea Buck. I'd love to do that."

"Well, I was thinking of something a little bigger like The Beacon in New York, but if you want to start with the Bluebird I'm fine with that."

"Alright, well, how about we say Friday? Bucky, Jeff, does that work for you guys?"

The two men agreed and Bucky excused himself to set it up. Jeff sat down on the couch next to Rayna.

"I had fun the other night."

Rayna blushed a little before she replied. "Yeah, me too."

"I'd love to do it again. How about Saturday night?"

"That would be great, but this time, let me plan the date, ok?"

"Sure, whatever you want Darlin'"

Rayna winced a little at the term of endearment. "Darlin" is what Deacon always called her, but she knew he didn't have a monopoly on the word, and if she was going to try to move on she had to get passed silly things like this.

"Well, I should get back to Will, but I'll let you know what I'm planning for Saturday."

"Great, I can't wait."

Jeff kissed her on the cheek and walked out. Rayna took a deep breath and sat back against the couch. She wasn't sure if she was moving in the right direction, or headed for a whole lot of trouble.

##

Back at home Rayna was cooking dinner when the girls came in.

"Hi ladies, I made lasagna for dinner."

"Yum, my favorite," Daphne said.

"Everything is your favorite," Maddie teased.

"Girls, girls, it's food. I'm just glad any of you like my cooking. Now go wash up for dinner."

The girls ran to wash up, and when they returned the three of them sat down at the dinner table.

"Maddie, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Maddie was suddenly nervous. What was her mom going to tell her now. Had she done something wrong, was she in trouble?

"What is it mom?"

"Well, I'm going to be playing a show at the Bluebird on Friday, and I was wondering if you'd like to come and play that song with me that we've been working on?"

Daphne jumped up and down. "Can I come too?!"

"No honey, you're too young. It will be past your bedtime."

"No fair, why does Maddie get to go and sing and I don't."

"When you're a teenager you can play at the Bluebird as well. I promise."

Daphne looked dejected. She slumped low in her chair and started stabbing her lasagna with her fork.

"What do you say Maddie?"

Maddie was really excited, but she didn't want to let her brooding teenager act slip too much.

"Yeah, I can do that."

Rayna gave her a big smile. "Great, I also have another song I've been working on that I'd love for you to back me up on. Why don't the three of us go learn it after dinner?"

At that Daphne perked up again and went back to hungrily shoving the lasagna in her mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

**The songs that Rayna and Maddie sing are "Best Day" by Taylor Swift and the wonderful "Emmylou" by First Aid Kit. They used this in the show as a Rayna/Deacon theme after the elevator kiss when she texted him to come up to her penthouse and I thought it really fit them as a couple.**

##

Deacon was fiddling with a can of Spaghetti O's when the doorbell rang. He hadn't realized how much he used his left hand for things other than playing music. Everything was difficult these days. He put down the can opener and walked over to the door opening it before looking out. When he did Maddie was standing there. He had a flashback to the last time she had been there, when she'd told him he was her father, and anxious butterflies began to form in his stomach.

"Hey Maddie, what's up?"

The girl seemed nervous, similar to the way she was last time, and this got Deacon's heart racing even faster. What more could she have to tell him? Could there really be another life altering secret that was out there in the ether waiting to be delivered by his only child?

"Hey Deacon, I know we haven't really seen each other that much since last time I was here, and maybe you haven't really wanted to see me…"

"No honey, that's not the case, I promise. I've just been sorting some things out, and I didn't want you to feel like I was forcing your life to change if you didn't want it to."

Maddie smiled weakly, but it was definitely there. Deacon breathed a sigh of relief, she was just worried he wouldn't want her there.

"Well, you are my father, and I've always thought you were a great guitarist, and I'm playing at the Bluebird on Friday with mom and I'd really like it if you'd come."

Deacon breathed deeply. He wanted to be there for Maddie, especially if she was specifically asking him to be there, but he wasn't sure if he was up for sitting through a whole night of Rayna Jaymes live at the Bluebird.

"This Friday, huh?"

"Yeah, mom is going to let me sit in on two songs with her, one that she wrote, and one that we wrote together."

"You wrote a song? That's great Maddie."

"Well, will you be there?"

Deacon knew he really didn't have a choice in the matter, he guessed that this is what being a divorced dad would have been like, having to see your ex, even when you don't really want to for the sake of your kid. See, he was already getting better at this dad thing.

"Of course Darlin, I'll be there."

Maddie gave him a bright smile and turned to go.

"Thanks Deacon! Friday night, don't forget."

"I won't."

##

Deacon wandered into the Bluebird and stood by the side of the venue. He'd shown up a little late and Rayna was already a song into her first set. The place was packed, and if he wasn't a close personal friend of the owner he would have never gotten in. He saw Maddie sitting in the front row with Tandy and when she spotted him back she gave him a big wave.

Rayna was mostly playing her new stuff. Songs he'd heard before during the tour, just a more acoustic version here at the Bluebird. I can totally handle this, he thought. He'd been angry with Rayna before and had stood by and watched her play, this time was no different.

Towards the end of the set, Rayna called Maddie up to the stage.

"I want to invite up my best contribution to the world of music to play with me, my wonderful daughter Maddie."

Everyone in the place clapped wildly. Maddie looked a little overwhelmed as she walked up on stage and took the stool next to her mother. She pulled out the guitar as Rayna smiled at her.

"Ready? " Maddie nodded her head and then began to play.

"_I'm five years old, It's getting cold, I've got my big coat on. I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run."_

_"Past the pumpkin patch, and the tractor rides, Look now - the sky is gold. I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home."_

_I don't know why all the trees change in the fall. I know you're not scared of anything at all. Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away, but I know I had the best day with you today."_

_"I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys, and we drive and drive until we've found a town far enough away, and we talk and window-shop until I've forgotten all their names."_

_I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school, I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you. Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay, but I know I had the best day with you today."_

Everyone smiled and clapped at the girl's song. Maddie had started it when Rayna was in the hospital, then the two had finished it together when she'd gotten home. Rayna just beamed as the round of applause continued. She glanced over at Deacon and saw him smiling back. It was so nice to see him smile again.

Rayna let the clapping die down then she spoke into the microphone again.

"I wrote this song, or rather co-wrote this song with my writing partner, and I hope you like it."

Deacon had thought she meant another song she'd written with Maddie, but at the sound of the first few chords he knew she was talking about him. It was a song they'd started a day or two before the CMAs.

_They had been lying on the porch swing in the backyard. Rayna stretched out, and Deacon leaning back against her. Her arms were wrapped tightly around him and she had her face tucked into his neck breathing in his scent. They had put the ipod on shuffle and it was playing a bunch of old time country hits. Some Johnny and June songs like "Jackson," and a couple of Emmylou Harris and Gram Parsons songs as well. _

"_Nothing like the melding melodies of great country loves," Deacon mused._

"_We're a great country love," Rayna whispered into his ear._

"_He looked up and smiled at her. "Yeah we are." Then he pulled her head down and kissed her softly, but passionately. They were lost in each other for a moment, and then Rayna pulled away from the kiss._

"_Let's write a song together. We haven't done that in a while."_

"_Great idea." Deacon sat up and grabbed his guitar and the two began to write._

_They'd written the first couple of verses and then the words started getting to them and Deacon had stopped strumming the guitar strings, and started strumming some intimate parts of Rayna. _

She must have finished it without me he thought. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. He was scared to hear her sing it, the words had meant so much to them as they wrote them. They'd been so happy, so in love. He could hardly believe that it was only a few months ago. Rayna started singing and Maddie backed her up on guitar.

"_Oh the bitter winds are coming in, and I'm already missing the summer. Stokholm's cold, but I've been told I was born to endure this kind of weather. When it's you I find like a ghost in my mind I am defeated and I gladly wear the crown._

_I'll be your Emmylou and I'll be your June, and you'll be my Gram and my Johnny too. No, I'm not asking much of you. Just sing little darling sing with me."_

Deacon started to get choked up. It was exactly what he was afraid of. If her singing that song wasn't assault enough on his heart, seeing her sing it with Maddie, with _their_ daughter was just wrecking him. When he looked up at the stage Rayna's eyes were locked on his. He tried to avoid her stare, but there was something about her when she sang, he was entranced by her, and he couldn't look away.

"_Now so much I know that things just don't grow if you don't bless them with your patience, and I've been there before I held up the door for every stranger with a promise._

_But I'm holding back, that's the strength that I lack, every morning keeps returning at my window, and it brings me to you and I won't just pass through, but I'm not asking for a storm._

_I'll be your Emmylou and I'll be your June, and you'll be my Gram and my Johnny too. No, I'm not asking much of you. Just sing little darling sing with me."_

That's where they had ended that day on the porch when hands started caressing and lips were tasting every inch of each other's bodies. He wasn't sure what was coming next, but he knew enough that he should sit down. Someone had vacated a barstool next to him, probably to run to the bathroom, but he thought if they were rude enough to get up mid-song he wasn't going to feel bad about taking their stool.

Rayna launched into the bridge that she'd written after she'd gotten out of the hospital, but before the recent incident with Caitlin and Deacon on his front porch. Her eyes were still fixed on Deacon sitting on the newly acquired bar stool.

"_And yes I might have lied to you, well you wouldn't benefit from knowing the truth.  
I was frightened but I held fast. I need you now at long last._

_I'll be your Emmylou and I'll be your June, and you'll be my Gram and my Johnny too. No, I'm not asking much of you. Just sing little darling sing with me._

_I'll be your Emmylou and I'll be your June, and you'll be my Gram and my Johnny too. No, I'm not asking much of you. Just sing little darling sing with me. Just sing little darling sing with me."_

He could feel her eyes boring into him, and he wasn't sure the last time he'd taken a breath. That bridge laid him flat. Her admitting she'd lied to him, that she was scared, that she still needed him after everything they'd been through. He couldn't let her get to him. He glanced back up at the stage, at _his_ family sitting there playing, and he reminded himself that she took that away from him all these years, and he wasn't ready to forgive her for it yet.

He pulled himself together and walked up to Maddie after the set.

"That was wonderful Darlin."

"Thanks Deacon, I messed up in the second chorus of Emmylou."

"No, you did perfect, I wrote it, so I know when someone messes it up, and you did great."

"You wrote it? I thought mom wrote it?"

"Well, we'd written it together, at least most of it anyway."

"Did you write it about each other?"

Deacon shuffled a little on his feet, and then Rayna walked up behind Maddie and put her hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"Didn't she do great?" Rayna gave him a sweet smile, hoping that him being here meant that he was ready to take a step towards things being ok with them.

Instead of looking back at Rayna he kept his eyes fixed on Maddie. "Yeah, she's wonderful, I was just telling her that. And that song you wrote, I couldn't have done that when I was your age."

"Mom helped, but thanks. Thanks for coming Deacon, it really means a lot."

"To me too Deacon," Rayna followed hoping to reach him.

"No problem ladies," Deacon looked up for the first time during the conversation and into Rayna's eyes. "I wouldn't have missed it."

He gave them a smile, but he knew he had to get out of there. There were too many emotions welling up inside of him, and he didn't want to have a breakdown right there on the floor of The Bluebird.

"I gotta go, but I'm glad I got to see you play."

"You're not staying for the second set?" Maddie asked.

"Sorry, I got someplace I have to be."

"You're not staying either young lady. You need to be in bed before midnight. Tandy is going to take you home."

Maddie protested for a minute, but then gave in and walked over to collect her stuff leaving Deacon and Rayna standing there alone.

"I really do have to go," he stammered.

"I am real glad you came Deacon. Did you like the ending to the song?"

"Yeah, it was real nice Ray. I'm glad you finished it."

"I meant it Deacon, all of it."

"I can't do this right now Rayna. Not here, not with all of these people around."

"OK, then when?"

"We're not supposed to be speaking outside of the courtroom."

"Who says? That woman?" Rayna's voice changed and he could sense the bitterness. "Are you really sleeping with her?"

Deacon felt uncomfortable, he really didn't want to discuss Caitlin with Rayna.

"That's not really any of your business Ray."

Rayna knew she shouldn't go where she was going, especially in the middle of the Bluebird, in the middle of her concert, but she couldn't help it.

"I think it is my business, especially since technically we've never broken up."

"If we haven't broken up what are you doing with Jeff?"

Rayna paused for a moment taken aback, she hadn't realized that Deacon knew about Jeff. Damn Nashville was a small town. She could deny it, but what would be the point of that.

"I didn't start seeing him until after I found out you were sleeping with Caitlin, and I'm not sleeping with him."

"Well you didn't seem to have any problem bouncing back. Heaven forbid the great independent Rayna Jaymes is single for a second."

Rayna gave him a hurt look, then scanned the room to see if anyone else heard their conversation. There was a lot of buzzing around them, but most people were consumed with their own conversations.

"I got to go Ray. Tell Maddie I'm proud of her."

Deacon grabbed his bag, slung it over his head and bolted out the door. Rayna just stood there in the center of the room, she was fighting hard for the tears not to come when a fan came up to her and told her how wonderful Maddie was. She put on her brightest southern smile and nodded at the woman.

"Thank you, she gets all her talent from her dad."

The woman looked confused as Rayna walked off to the bathroom to collect herself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Now that I've seen the season 2 promo I thought I'd add a little backstory into this about the accident. Also, I found out the lawyer's name is Megan, but I thought I'd just keep it as Caitlin for the rest of the story rather than change it. This one is kind of heartbreaking, sorry.**

##

When Deacon returned home from The Bluebird Caitlin was waiting for him.

"I'm sorry Deacon, I didn't mean to overstep my bounds earlier."

"No, it's ok. I'm sorry. You're a smart and beautiful woman and I've been taking you for granted when you're probably the best thing that's happened to me since the accident. Let me make it up to you."

Caitlin smiled and walked over to Deacon throwing her arms around his neck.

"What are you going to do?"

She kissed him softly.

"Why don't we go away next weekend after the deposition? I have a cabin a couple of hours away. We can hide out, just the two of us. How does that sound?"

"Perfect," Caitlin squealed, then she dragged him into the bedroom.

##

Rayna almost forgot about her date with Jeff after the night with Maddie and Deacon, so when he texted at 10:00am to ask what she had in store for them Rayna's mind went into overdrive. She hadn't been on a date in years, not a real date. Teddy had taken her out to the movies or dinner when they got a sitter, and well, most of her "dates" with Deacon involved them locking themselves away, lighting a bunch of candles, and either making music or making love.

She wanted to do something different, something that would stand out, distract her from everything else going on in her life, something un-her. She texted back "meet me at Cedar Creek Sports Center at 1:00."

She was definitely going to give Jeff a run for his money.

##

When Rayna arrived Jeff was already there leaning against his car.

"When you said sport center I was thinking a baseball game or something, not go karts."

Rayna laughed, "What, you scared of driving a kid's car around? I thought with that slick thing that you drive you'd be all over this, or are you just afraid that I'll beat you?"

Jeff flashed Rayna a million dollar smile, "No chance!"

The two walked over and paid for two cars. The owner set them up so they were racing against each other. They were neck and neck for most of the way, but at the very end Rayna pulled out and won.

She had a feeling that he'd let her win, but she gloated anyway.

"See, I knew that I'd beat you. You're too slow."

She was continuing to taunt him when all of a sudden he walked up to her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

Rayna was a little taken aback.

"I had to shut you up somehow."

She smiled back. Kissing Jeff was fun, but as much as she tried to forget him, all she could think of was Deacon. She wondered where he was, what he was doing, if he was with that awful lawyer. Rayna managed to pull herself together and make it through the rest of the date with Jeff. At the end of the day he walked her back to her car.

"How about we finish this at my place?"

Rayna smiled at him and gave him a small kiss, "I'm just not ready for that yet Jeff I hope that's ok with you."

"I'm not going to say I'm not disappointed, but I understand. Maybe next time."

Jeff pulled her in for another kiss then watched as Rayna got into her car and drove away.

##

When Rayna entered the lawyer's office Deacon was already there with Caitlin. She looked at him trying to get his attention, but he looked down at the table avoiding her gaze.

"Alright, are we ready to start hashing this out?" Rayna's laywer started.

Caitlin responded, "We are claiming that Ms. Jaymes owes Mr. Claybourne $1.5 million in damages due to her negligence in the car crash that left Mr. Claybourne unable to continue his professional career. "

"Can you state for the record how Mr. Claybourne hurt his hand?"

"Of course. Ms. Jaymes was driving the car from The Bluebird at 4104 Hillsboro Pike to Mr. Claybourne's house in East Nashville when she ran a stop sign, swerved to avoid another car, lost control of the car and flipped it repeatedly. Mr. Claybourne got his hand caught in between the steering wheel and Ms. Jaymes' seat trying to reach for the wheel."

Rayna shifted in her chair. Deacon had been awake when the car had settled in its final resting place, but she had passed out by then. It was upsetting to hear what actually happened.

"In addition," Caitlin continued. "Mr. Claybourne hurt his hand further escaping from the car with Ms. Jaymes. He kicked out the front window of the car then was forced to drag Ms. Jaymes' unconscious body nearly 20 feet from the wreckage holding onto her with his right arm, and pulling himself along with his damaged left hand further injuring it."

Rayna's eyes shot up and she looked at Deacon. No one had filled her in on how she'd escaped from the car. She'd always assumed that the EMTs had dragged both of them out. But now that she thought about it, there was no way that they could have waited in the car until the ambulance came. She'd seen the pictures of the smoldering SUV. If they had waited to escape both she and Deacon would have burned to death. A wave of compassion and warmth hit her. He had saved her. He'd been so mad at her, yelling at the top of his lungs at her, as if he hated her, but after the crash he'd risked his own safety, injured his playing hand further to rescue her. God she loved him so much.

If this was blowing Rayna's mind, it was all too much for Deacon. Reliving the crash was something he wasn't looking forward to, and now that Caitlin was retelling the story he was completely out of sorts.

"You know what, I don't feel well, can we wrap for today?"

Caitlin looked a little surprised, "Deacon, we just started, are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, let's just go."

"Alright, we'll reschedule. Sorry for the inconvenience everyone."

Deacon turned to go, and Caitlin got up after him. Rayna followed Deacon out of the lawyer's office and into the parking lot.

"Hey, can I talk to you a second?"

Deacon looked at Rayna then back at Caitlin. He felt tired. He didn't know how people continued to put themselves through these long lawsuits.

"Caitlin, go on with out me, I'll meet you back at my place later."

Caitlin looked concerned, "Are you sure Deacon?"

"Yeah, don't worry, I'll be fine."

Then he turned back to Rayna, "OK, what do you want to say."

"Not here in the middle of the parking lot." Rayna motioned for Deacon to follow her to an alcove on the side of the building. When they got there she looked up into Deacon's eyes, and he looked back down at her both searching for the right thing to say.

"I didn't know that about your hand, that you hurt it further trying to save me. Why did you do that?"

A small smirk appeared on Deacon's face, and tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm mad as hell at you Ray, and I may never forgive you for what you've done, but I have loved you since you were 16 Rayna Wyatt, and there was no way I was going to let you die if there was anything I could do to save you."

Tears started to drip down Rayna's face. She moved forward invading Deacon's space. He tried to move away from her, but he hit the wall.

"I love you so much Deacon," Rayna reached up and touched his face with her hands, "and even if you never forgive me, I will love you until the day I die."

"I know," Deacon removed Rayna's hands from his face, but continued to hold onto them. "I've never doubted that Ray, but sometimes love isn't enough. Just cause you love someone doesn't mean they're good for you, and Darlin', we're not good for each other. It's taken me a long time to realize that, but I think that's the first step to me getting better." Deacon paused for a second and let go of Rayna's hands.

"I'm going to drop the lawsuit. I don't want to put either one of us through this anymore. We both need to move on. We can't keep hurting each other. I've got to go. I'm meeting Caitlin and we're heading up to the cabin."

Rayna felt sick, the cabin was their place.

"You're taking her there? I thought you never took a woman there except for me?"

"I'm trying to do things differently this time, not hold on to the past so hard. I need a fresh start Ray, no baggage." Deacon looked away from her out into the parking lot. "I got sober, and I stayed sober for _you_ Rayna, not for me. Now I need to stay sober for me. For 14 years I did nothing but live for you, live for the slim chance that one day I'd hold you in my arms again, that if that happened everything would be perfect. But getting that didn't fix anything, in fact, it's more broken then ever."

Rayna pleaded, "Don't say that, things were wonderful with us before the accident, before…Maddie…" her voice trailed off.

"Yeah, but it was all based on a lie. All those years I put you up on a pedestal. You could do no wrong, which is why finding out that you lied was especially hard. But I'm seeing much clearer now, you have your problems, I have mine, but together we just have way too many. I need to move forward with my life…without you."

By now the tears were streaming down Rayna's face, she didn't know what she could say to him to make things better.

"I don't know what to do without you in my life. I can't even imagine it."

"You'll be fine Ray, you've always been the strong one. Maybe you need a fresh start too."

"I don't want a fresh start, I want you. I want to work on us."

Deacon could sense Rayna's desperation and he knew he had to get out of there before he did something he'd later regret.

"You and I, we're over. I've finally accepted that, and you need to as well. Take care of yourself Ray."

Deacon extricated himself from the alcove and headed towards his car. Rayna felt lost, she couldn't move. She leaned back against the wall and slowly slid down so she was sitting with her knees tucked into her body. She continued to shake and sob as she watched him get into his truck and drive away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Kind of a long chapter, but there was a lot to get through.**

##

Deacon and Caitlin had spent a long weekend up at the cabin swimming in the lake, canoeing, and relaxing by the fireplace. After everything he'd gone through lately he needed the recharge time, and it was nice to have someone there with him. When they got back to his place on Tuesday Scarlett had placed a pile of his mail on his kitchen counter. He stared at the letter on the top. The address was hand written and it was unmistakably Rayna's scrawl. He sat down at the table and opened it up. Inside was a check with a small hand written note.

"This was all I could afford right now. I hope this helps. Love, Rayna."

Deacon looked at the amount on the check it read $500,000. He rubbed his eyes to make sure it was real.

"I can't believe she did this."

"What? What is it?"

Deacon looked up at Caitlin. "A check, Rayna wrote me a check for $500,000."

"That's great! I guess despite us dropping the suit she still felt bad. We should go down to the bank and cash that today."

"I don't want it."

"What do you mean you don't want it?"

"Exactly what I said. I dropped the suit Caitlin, I don't really need the money, what am I going to do with $500k?"

"You can live off of that for a long time Deacon, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, you deserve that money."

"I don't know, I'd feel weird about having it."

"Why don't you hold on to the check for a few days and see how you feel. You have 90 days to cash it."

"OK, but I doubt I'm going to change my mind."

##

It was a couple of weeks later and Rayna and the girls were meeting Teddy over at his townhouse. He said he had something important to share and he wanted all of them there.

"I wonder what it could be," Daphne asked as she was bouncing out of the car.

"Who cares, it's probably something dumb like he's moving to a new house," Maddie replied.

"Girls, I'm sure if your father has something to share with all of us it's important."

When they got to the front door Teddy opened it. He was smiling at them, but he looked a little nervous.

"Hey ladies, I'm glad you're here, why don't we all go into the living room."

Rayna was suspicious as to what was going on, but she followed the girls in. When they reached the living room Peggy was sitting on the couch. Teddy walked in and sat down next to her.

"What's going on here?" Rayna asked.

"Well," Teddy replied. "Peggy and I have some news." Teddy reached over and put his hand on top of Peggy's. "We're getting married, and we're having a baby."

Daphne jumped up and down on the couch, "Oh my god, a baby, a little sister or brother, this is so exciting."

Rayna had gotten the wind knocked out her, but she tried not to show it.

"Wow, a baby," Rayna said.

Here she was, her whole life falling apart, the divorce, the paternity drama with Maddie, the accident, and most of all losing Deacon, and Teddy was just going along with his life, starting a new family. She smiled sweetly and looked over at Maddie. She didn't seem too happy about it either, she was scowling more than normal.

"Whatever, that's fine," she said.

If Teddy noticed their uneasiness he didn't let it show. He seemed oblivious to the unhappiness in the room.

"I thought we could all go out to dinner since we're all going to be one big happy family."

"Um, sure," Rayna managed to get out.

They all piled in their respective cars. Teddy and Peggy in one and Rayna driving hers with the girls in the back. Rayna was lost in thought as she drove and wasn't really paying attention to the conversation going on behind her.

"Aren't you excited? We're going to have a new sister or brother!" Daphne asked.

"It's not my sister or brother, why should I care?"

"What do you mean?"

"Haven't you been paying attention to what's been going on? Why do you think mom and Deacon were fighting in the car, the accident, everything that's gone on since?"

"What are you talking about Maddie? I thought it was just an accident, that's what mom said."

"I'm not your sister Daphne, I'm your half sister."

"Half sister?"

"Yeah, same mom, different dads. Teddy isn't my father, so I'm not related to the baby."

"What do you mean daddy isn't your father? Who's your father?"

"Deacon."

"Really? You're so lucky, I love Deacon."

Maddie sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, so I'm not related to dad's baby."

"Well, I'm still excited. I'm sure he or she will still love you Maddie, even if you aren't real sisters."

Maddie smiled at her younger sister. "Thanks Daph."

##

At dinner Peggy tried to get the girls to like her, but Maddie wasn't playing along.

"We're going to have a nice new big house, and there will be plenty of room for the both of you, and I'm sure I'll need lots of help with the new baby, so I'm so glad she or he will have two wonderful big sisters."

"I think I'll be a good big sister since I've learned from Maddie," Daphne smiled.

Maddie pushed the mashed potatoes on her plate around with her fork.

"I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be back."

Maddie pushed her chair back from the table in a huff.

"Sweetie, please ask politely to be excused, there's no need to be rude," Rayna scolded.

"Fine, Can I please be excused?"

"Of course."

Maddie turned around and stomped out of the room.

Fifteen minutes later Rayna began to be concerned.

"Has Maddie really not returned yet? I'm going to go check on her."

Rayna excused herself from the table and went to the bathroom to check on Maddie. When she got there all the stalls were empty. Rayna began to panic. She ran out to the maitre d. "Did you see a 14 year old girl go through here?"

"I'm sorry Ms. Jaymes, I haven't really noticed."

Rayna ran outside and looked around the parking lot in a desperate search for Maddie. When she couldn't find her she ran back inside to the table.

"Maddie is missing."

"What!? What do you mean she's missing?" Teddy asked frantically.

"She's not in the bathroom, and I didn't see her outside."

"Well try calling her cell phone."

Rayna pulled her phone out and called Maddie's cell, but the girl didn't pick up. Tears started to stream down her face.

"What if something's happened to her, what if she was taken?"

Peggy tried to calm her down. "I'm sure she's fine, she probably just went to meet up with a friend."

"This is all your fault," Rayna spat at Peggy and Teddy. "She's been going through so much and you had to bring this up now? Why couldn't you have waited to tell the girls."

"Well, I'm going to run for senate so Peggy and I thought we'd get married as soon as possible so everything looks like it's on the up and up."

"Senate? You're running for senate? Are you kidding? That's what this is about? I can't deal with this now. We need to call the police."

##

Deacon and Caitlin had spent the evening in. They were sitting on the couch at his place when they heard a knock on the door. Deacon pulled the door open to reveal a very distraught Maddie standing in the doorway. Just once he thought he'd love it if he opened up the door and she seemed happy.

"What's wrong Darlin?"

"Can I live with you?"

"What?"

"I want to live with you, can I?"

Deacon was startled, he was just easing into the idea of being a father, but being a full time father was a whole other thing.

"Why don't you come in and we can talk about this."

Maddie walked in and they sat on the couch.

"Who's she?" Maddie asked gesturing towards Caitlin.

"Maddie this is Caitlin, Caitlin, Maddie."

Maddie eyed the woman on the couch, she was wearing one of Deacon's shirts, a pair of socks, and not much else. She decided to just ignore her."

"So tell me, where did this all come from Maddie?"

"Teddy and Peggy are getting married and having a baby, and Daphne is all excited about it, but I'm not related to them, and I don't want to live with them."

Deacon was a little shocked, but tried not to show it.

"Well, ok, but what about just living with your mamma?"

"She hates me."

"Now I know that's not true, your mamma loves you more than anything."

"No, she hates me, I can see it every time she looks at me. She blames me for the accident and for you leaving her."

The last part stung Deacon. He knew how hard the break up had been on Rayna, but he didn't even think of how it was affecting the girls.

"That's ridiculous Maddie. The accident was my fault, and as far as us breaking up, that's complicated stuff that's between your mamma and I, but I promise you it has nothing to do with you."

"I'm not a child Deacon, I know that if I hadn't of said anything you'd probably still be together swooning over each other like you were the night you came over for dinner."

Deacon wasn't sure what to say, he knew she was probably right, but he didn't want to admit it to her and hurt her further.

"I promise you, even if that's true, your mom loves you no matter what."

"Well, I just don't want to live with her, she's depressed all the time. She tries to pretend she's not, but I hear her crying herself to sleep every night."

This killed Deacon, despite how angry he was, he hated the idea of Rayna sitting up at night crying alone in her room.

"That's even more reason why your mamma needs you."

"Listen, if you don't want me you can just say it."

"No, that's not it at all."

"Well, can I live here then?"

Deacon wasn't sure what else to say, she'd backed him into a corner.

"Alright, but we need to call your mamma, I'm sure she's worried about you."

"Fine, do you have anything to eat? I'm starving."

Deacon walked Maddie into the kitchen and got her some food, then he went back into the living room and pulled out his phone to call Rayna.

"What is going on here Deacon? Why would Rayna's daughter want to live with you?"

"She's my daughter Caitlin, this is what everything has been about."

Caitlin was shocked, she hadn't realized what a family mess she had stepped into.

"Wow, a daughter with Rayna Jaymes, this is all a lot bigger than I thought."

##

Rayna was at the house in Belle Meade with the whole family and the police when her phone rang. She looked down at the caller ID and had mixed emotions when she saw Deacon's name pop up. She had been longing for him to call her, but right now didn't seem like the best time to hash things out with him, and he'd probably be even madder at her when he found out about Maddie.

She wasn't sure she was going to answer, but she needed to talk to him, hear his reassuring voice on the other line. She picked it up.

"Hey. How are you?"

"You missing someone Ray?"

A wave of relief fell over Rayna.

"Oh my god, is she with you?"

"Yeah, she got here about a half hour ago. She asked me if she could live with me."

"What? "

"I told her we needed to discuss that as a family."

Rayna smiled a little despite the circumstances. She loved Deacon referring to them as a family.

"Alright, I'll be right over."

##

Rayna ran up to the door. She hadn't been here in a while and she hadn't realized how much she'd missed it. When he let her in Maddie was still in the kitchen and Caitlin was still sitting on the couch in Deacon's shirt. Seeing her in his clothing sent another sucker punch to Rayna's gut.

She looked at Caitlin. "You know that's my shirt right? I bought that for him, and I always wear it."

"Well," Caitlin replied. "I'm the one wearing it now."

"Hey," Deacon interrupted. "Caitlin, why don't you go upstairs and put your own clothes on."

Caitlin went up to get dressed and Deacon and Rayna went into the kitchen to chat with Maddie.

Maddie was looking down at her food ignoring Rayna's entrance.

"Now sweetie, I'm not even going to mention that you just gave us all a heart attack, but what is this all about?"

"I want to live with Deacon, and he said it's ok."

"Honey, you can't live with Deacon. Your dad and I have a court ordered custody agreement that we split our time with you."

"I don't care. I'm not a child, you can't make me live somewhere I don't want to live, and I don't want to live with them. He's just my step-dad. I'm not even related to him. "

"Honey, that doesn't make him love you any less. And what about me? I would miss you terribly if you weren't living with me."

Deacon hoped that Maddie wouldn't give Rayna the same reason that she'd given him. That would break Rayna's heart.

"I just want to spend some time getting to know Deacon, don't I have that right?"

Rayna took a deep breath, she knew Maddie was right. She had no right to stand in the way if the two of them wanted to live together. She had kept them apart for nearly 14 years, kept Maddie all to herself. If Maddie wanted to spend the rest of her childhood living with only Deacon it still wouldn't make up for the years they'd spent apart. She knew it was going to be a fight with Teddy, but it's one that she felt she had to take on.

Rayna turned to Deacon, "Are you sure you're ok with this?"

She could tell that Deacon wasn't sure, but she knew he didn't want to let on.

"Sure, it's fine. I'll make the office into an extra bedroom. Scarlett will love getting to know her cousin."

Maddie smiled for the first time all day. "Great, then it's all settled. Mom, I'll stop by tomorrow to pick up my things."

Rayna sighed. "Alright Maddie, but know you can always come home anytime you want."

"I know Mom."

"I'll walk you to the door Ray." Deacon placed his hand in the small of Rayna's back. It was the first contact they'd had in weeks and she didn't want it to end, but he removed it as they reached the door.

Deacon could tell Rayna was hurting and despite everything he hated to see her like that.

"Hey, she'll come around. After two weeks of eating my cooking she'll probably be begging you to come pick her up."

Rayna gave him a small laugh. "You really are a bad cook."

"Yeah, but I make a mean pie, and what kid doesn't want to eat nothing but pie."

Rayna smiled again. She knew he was trying to make her feel better and she really appreciated that, especially since standing in that alcove she wasn't sure she'd ever see him smile at her again.

"Thanks Deacon. Take good care of our girl."

"I will, I promise Ray. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Rayna turned to walk down the stairs and started down the path to her car. She turned around as Deacon was shutting the door. She hated that Caitlin was in there instead of her, but she knew she only had herself to blame. She'd given up her family, the family she'd always wanted 14 years ago, and no matter how much she wanted it now, there seemed to be no way of getting it back.

##

A few days later Maddie was having a cousins dinner with Scarlett so Deacon met Caitlin for dinner at the diner. He slid into the booth where she was already waiting for him.

"Hey, I want you to know I deposited that check."

"That's great, I'm glad you decided to use the money, you really do deserve that Deacon."

"Actually, I didn't put it into my account."

"What do you mean?"

"I opened up a trust account…for Maddie."

"Why did you do that Deacon? She's Rayna's daughter too, she won't ever be hurting for money."

"You don't know that, the music business is fickle. I might be a drunken ass who wasn't there for her for the first 13 years of her life, but this is something that I can do for her, I can give her the freedom to never have to worry about money. When I was starting out I was living in dirty one room shacks, eating ramen noodles every night, I want to ensure that she's never going to have to do that. If she wants to be on her own without Rayna's help, she's going to have a cushion. And if she, unlike her parents, want to go to college, she can use it for that."

"I really don't think that was necessary Deacon, but I understand the sentiment."


	8. Chapter 8

_Rayna was lying in the hospital bed, she tried to speak, but the breathing tube was down her throat. All of a sudden she started to choke. She felt desperate to get it out, she pulled at it, but it wouldn't come. She looked around the room and saw her family and Deacon standing on the other side talking. She waved her hands frantically trying to get their attention, but they were chatting away, ignoring her. She couldn't breath, and she began to feel herself losing consciousness, tears started dripping down her face. _

Rayna's body jumped as she woke up from the dream. She reached her hand to her face and realized that although nothing else was, the tears were real. She lay back down in her bed, staring at the ceiling. It had been nearly two weeks since Maddie had moved in with Deacon. She looked at her clock, only 9:45 pm. She'd been going to bed earlier and earlier in the last few days. Last week Daphne had been with her, but now she was all alone.

She could feel herself losing everything that she had, and her mental state was continuing to decline. She had made Daphne sleep with her one night last week, cuddling the little girl to her as she lay in bed, but she could tell that this break from normality had scared her youngest daughter, so she knew she couldn't do that again.

"_Is Maddie ever coming back?" She had asked. _

"_I don't know sweetie, but I'm sure she'd be happy to see you. Why don't you give her a call and set up some time to hang out."_

"_It's just not the same. It's lonely without her."_

"_I know it is baby. I miss her too."_

"_Do you think Deacon would mind if we __**both**__ lived with him?"_

"_Daphne, don't you want to live with your parents?"_

"_Yeah, but I miss Maddie, and I think it would be fun to live with Deacon. I wish we could all live together."_

"_So do I sweetie, so do I."_

As much as Rayna wanted that for herself and her family, she knew Deacon didn't seem to want it anymore. Before the accident she thought she'd be able to talk to him, make him see why she did what she'd did, and he'd forgive her like he always did whenever she hurt him. But this time was different. He seemed different. He didn't look at her the way he always had, and it broke her heart. She could feel their love slipping through her fingers and it was like she was losing the biggest part of herself. After her mother died Rayna had been lost, despondent for a long time, that is until a few years later when she'd met Deacon. He'd gotten her out of her funk, pulled her back into the land of the living. He'd become a part of her, and without him she didn't feel like herself.

All Rayna wanted to do was sink further into her bed, but she also didn't want to be a quitter. She didn't want her daughters to have a mother who hid away when things got tough. She reached for her phone and dialed a number.

"Rayna Jamyes. I was starting to think I scared you off with that kiss a couple of weeks ago."

"Hey Jeff, I'm sorry I haven't called, there's just been a lot of family stuff happening in the last few weeks."

"No problem, just glad it wasn't me."

"Let me make it up to you. Let's grab a drink sometime this week."

"How about right now? Meet me at The Bistro at 10:30."

Rayna looked at the clock again. A few months ago she would have never been heading out for the night at 10:30, but now there was nothing holding her back.

"OK, I'll be there."

Rayna hung up the phone, and ran into her closet to get ready. She flipped through some jeans and t-shirts, but then she thought if she was going to show the world that you couldn't keep Rayna Jaymes down, she had to do it in style. She reached to the back of her closet and pulled out a tight little black dress with some sequence that she once wore on stage. It was a dress that someone Juliette's age would throw on without thinking, but at 45 most women couldn't pull it off. Rayna looked at herself in the mirror. Damn, she still had it. She fixed her makeup threw on her highest pair of shoes and ran out the door. She may feel like her whole world is falling apart, but she wasn't going to look that way.

##

Back at Deacon's house Maddie was doing her homework while Caitlin was watching TV.

"I don't need a babysitter, I'm 14."

"I know that, I'm just waiting for your dad to come home, he had a business meeting."

"I know that, he told me. Why can't you wait at your place?"

"Listen Maddie, I know I may not be your favorite person, but I'm in your dad's life now and I'd really like it if we could get to know each other and be friends. I really don't want you to hate me."

"I don't hate you. There's no reason to hate you. I know that you won't be here very long."

"What makes you say that?"

Maddie stopped typing on her computer and looked over at Caitlin.

"I know things seem broken between my mom and Deacon right now, but I promise you, nothing is going to keep them apart for long. My dad tried to keep them apart for years while they were married and it never worked for long. If you've ever seen them together, you'd know you're a fool to ever think you're going to come between them permanently. You might as well get out now before you get hurt."

Caitlin was a little taken aback, but she assumed it was just a teenager acting out, wanting her parents to be back together like most children from broken homes do.

"Well, I'm glad you're concerned about my well being Maddie, but I'm pretty sure I know how Deacon feels about me, and I can handle myself."

"Alright, don't say I didn't warn you."

Maddie turned around and went back to typing on her computer. Caitlin turned the volume back up on the TV, but she was a little uneasy. There was definitely something unsettling about what Maddie said.

##

Deacon walked into The Bistro. He hated places like this, just a little too fancy, a little too trendy. Wasted socialites at the bar sipping fruity cocktails being pawed at by their country club boyfriends. He was hoping that this would be a real quick meeting when Jay Bernstein waved him down.

"Deacon, there you are. I got us a table."

Jay was head of marketing at a guitar company that was making some beautiful instruments these days. They were looking for Deacon to endorse one of their newer models. Normally he would have shied away from something like this, but since the accident he felt like he really shouldn't be turning down income.

Deacon was halfway through his club soda when he saw Rayna walk in. He tried to turn away, but his heart nearly stopped and his body went rigid when he caught sight of the way she was dressed. Tight little black number that was barely there, 4-inch heels, her hair framing her face like it was a red halo hand spun by a thousand singing angels. He may still be pissed at her, but his body didn't seem to know that. He tried to concentrate on his conversation with Jay but his mind kept fantasizing about pushing her up against the wall at the back of the coat room and making her call out his name over and over again.

Then all of a sudden Jeff walked up to her and put his arm around her. Deacon hated that guy, he was like a slimier version of Teddy. Why did Rayna always have the worst taste in men outside of him? All of a sudden he hated that she was dressed like that, dressed like that for that guy. It was getting him upset in a way he hadn't felt in a while when he realized he had to calm himself down. This was ridiculous. He was with Caitlin, he's the one who'd ended things. If she wanted to prance around in her underwear with Jeff Linden, that was her prerogative. He turned back to Jay and started asking more questions about the commitment he'd have to make to the company.

Rayna had felt great when she walked into the bar, but when Jeff put his arm around her she began to feel a little uneasy. She'd wished she'd worn jeans and her cowboy boots. All of sudden she didn't really feel like she wanted all the attention she was garnering. Everyone in the bar was turning around to look.

Then she spotted Deacon, this couldn't be going worse. She'd come here to forget about him and there he was. How was she going to relax and have fun with Jeff with Deacon sitting 15 feet away from them? When they went to the table she knew the right thing to do was face herself away from Deacon; out of sight, out of mind, but she couldn't help herself from choosing the chair with a good view of the brooding guitarist.

As she laughed at one of Jeff's jokes she thought she saw him looking over at her, and so she laughed even harder, but maybe that didn't seem so natural.

"Are you ok Rayna? You seem a little off tonight?"

Jeff looked genuinely concerned and this made Rayna feel bad.

"I'm fine, I just need a drink."

Jeff had ordered a very expensive bottle of wine, and when it arrived Rayna was downing it a bit too fast. It would have been ok if she'd eaten dinner but somewhere around the third glass she remembered that she'd gone to bed before she'd eaten anything. She was starting to feel really woozy, and excused herself to go to the bathroom.

She was almost at the door to the ladie's room when she tripped on one of her 4-inch heals. She started to go down when she felt someone catch her. He spun her around and she looked up right into Deacon's baby blues.

"You've got to watch where you're going Darlin', you don't want to break another bone right when they've all healed up."

Rayna's breath was coming heavy now. He had his arm wrapped around her, and was leaning in pretty close in the crowded hallway. She could almost feel his warm breath on her face, and she definitely caught a whiff of his scent. Her head was swimming and she was just drunk enough to unconsciously move her lips towards his, but he pulled away before she made contact.

"Maybe you should cut back on the alcohol Ray, seems like you're a little tipsy tonight."

Rayna was hurt and drunk and definitely said the wrong thing.

"I can handle my liquor, you're the one who can't drink."

Deacon pulled away from her letting her lean against the wall.

"Yep, that's true."

Almost immediately Rayna regretted what she'd said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"No, you're right, I shouldn't be lecturing anyone on their liquor intake. Have a nice evening Ray."

And like that he was gone. She watched as he walked down the hallway and out of the restaurant. When she got back to the table Jeff was waiting for her.

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, fine, but let's get out of here. Why don't you take me home?"

"Back to your place?"

"No, let's go to yours."


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks so much for all the reviews. Glad everyone is enjoying the story.**

##

Deacon could barely concentrate on the road on the way home. All he could think about was holding Rayna in his arms. The feel of the thin fabric against his fingers, his hand brushing against her ass when he caught her fall, the moment she leaned into him and he felt the quiver of her lips just centimeters away. He didn't want to think about her, hell, he hated how she controlled his thoughts. He'd been working so hard at putting her in the category marked "history," but whatever he did he couldn't seem to get her completely out of his mind.

When he got home Caitlin was waiting for him.

Caitlin, she'd really been good to him. She knew he had a tendency to be self-destructive and to punish himself, and she hadn't let him go there since they'd been dating. She was good for him in all the ways Rayna was not, but it was still Rayna that haunted his dreams at night. He walked in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, how'd the meeting go?"

"Good, I think I'm going to do it."

It was nice of Caitlin to wait for him, but right now all he wanted was to be alone. He needed to sort out his thoughts, and he didn't want to use Caitlin for that. She deserved better.

"Hey Darlin' I know you waited for me, but I kind of want some alone time with Maddie tonight."

"She already went to sleep Deacon, it's just us."

"Yeah, I know, but I want it to be just Maddie and I when she wakes up in the morning. We haven't really gotten enough just father/daughter time since she's moved in."

Caitlin looked hurt. She thought again about what Maddie had said earlier, it had affected her more than she'd wanted to admit. If she'd known that Deacon's mood had anything to do with seeing Rayna she would have been even more out of sorts.

"Ok, well, I don't want to stand in the way of father/daughter bonding." Caitlin slowly collected her things.

"Call me tomorrow."

"Will do. Have a good night."

When he shut the door behind her he wandered over to Maddie's door and peaked in. The girl stirred and lifted her head.

"Deacon?"

"Hey, go back to sleep, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's alright, I wasn't really sleeping. Come in."

Deacon walked in and started to sit. He still wasn't quite used to how he should act around her. Was sitting on the bed too intimate? He placed himself on the chair by her desk.

"Daphne called me tonight."

"How's your sister doing?"

"Ok, I guess. I think she misses me."

"I'm sure she does sweetheart."

Maddie chose her words carefully. "I know that Saturday's picnic was just supposed to be the two of us, but would you mind if Daphne came too?"

"Of course she can come, I'd love to have Daphne there. I'll call your mama and ask her about it in the morning. Ok?"

"Great, goodnight Deacon."

"Goodnight Darlin." He got up and walked out of the room closing the door behind him and taking a deep breath. He loved her, but wished that she didn't remind him so much of her mother. It was hard forgetting about Rayna when their daughter was around as a constant reminder of what they once had.

##

When Rayna got back to Jeff's she headed for his bar and poured herself a bourbon. She was half way through the glass when Jeff came up behind her. He wrapped his left arm around her waist and tried to remove the glass from her hand with his right.

"Don't you think you've had enough?"

Rayna held on to the glass and spun around in his arms. "I'm fine. Just wanted a night cap."

He pulled her into a kiss, then started running his hands up and down the sides of her body. Rayna tried not to think about how Deacon's hands were on her body only an hour ago, but in her drunken haze it was a losing battle. She placed the glass down on the table and wrapped her arms around Jeff's neck throwing herself into the kiss. Then she closed her eyes and imagined it was still Deacon's arms that were holding her tight. By the time he got her to the bedroom clothing was abandoned somewhere along the path. He had her on the bed kissing her neck when she got a little too lost in her fantasy.

"Oh, Deacon."

Jeff pulled away. What did you say?

Rayna realized her mistake and tried to cover. "What? Nothing, I was just moaning. It feels so good."

Jeff was pretty sure he'd heard her say Deacon's name, but he didn't exactly want to stop so he chose to ignore it. If she wanted to fanaticize about someone else while she was with him, who cared, he was the one was getting to make love to her.

##

In the morning Rayna felt really weird. She'd only ever made love to two men for most of her life, and the intimacy with someone new was more uncomfortable than she thought it would have been. She had a horrible headache and if she felt slutty when she made out with Liam, now she felt really slutty. Jeff was still asleep. She slowly slipped out of bed being careful not to wake him. She was looking around for her clothes when her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID: Deacon. Oh man, she thought, he always did have the worst timing. She slipped out of the room and answered the phone.

"Hey."

"Hey Ray, how you feeling this morning?"

Rayna felt like hell, but she wasn't going to let Deacon know that.

"Great, it's a beautiful morning." She hadn't even looked outside yet, so she hoped it wasn't raining.

"Uh, huh," he replied in a mocking tone.

Damn, she thought, he could always read her. "Anyway Ray, Maddie and I were talking about having a picnic on Saturday, and Daphne had called and said she wanted to see Maddie so we thought maybe we could make it a family thing."

Rayna smiled. There it was again, he referred to them as a family. She loved it when he did that. Maybe she hadn't messed things up so badly last night, maybe he really was coming around to forgiving her.

"Sure, Daph and I would love to join you guys on Saturday."

"Oh Ray, I meant just me, Maddie, and Daphne."

Rayna felt as if someone had stabbed her in the heart with a rusty knife. Would he bring Caitlin? Would the girls prefer being with her? She was being pushed out, replaced even. The thought of her whole family off on a spring picnic without her, and maybe with another woman was too much to bear. She tried to remain calm, but the tears in her voice betrayed her. "Oh…I'm sorry, I just thought you'd meant…"

Deacon wasn't sure what to say. He didn't really feel prepared to see her, but he also didn't want her to feel like he was trying to cut her out of her children's lives. Since Maddie had moved in with him, he'd heard through the grapevine (i.e Cole) that Rayna wasn't doing so well. He could tell that last night's drunken escape was a bit of a cry for help.

"No, you know what, come too. It will be fine. Even if she doesn't admit it I know Maddie's been missing you."

He could hear the hopefulness in Rayna's voice. "Are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude."

"Of course you're not intruding Ray, I'm sure both Maddie and Daph will love to have you there."

"Alright, Saturday it is then."

"See you then."

Rayna hung up the phone and sat back in one of Jeff's handmade leather chairs. Talking to Deacon about spending the day with him and her family made the night with Jeff seem even more of a mistake. She had the sudden urge to get out of there as quickly as she could. She threw on the rest of her clothes and was tip-toeing over to the door when Jeff came out.

"Hey beautiful, where do you think you're going?"

"I have a parent teacher conference at Daphne's school." She lied.

"I was hoping to cook you breakfast." Jeff walked over and wrapped his arms around Rayna again. She extricated herself from his grasp.

"I really got to go Jeff. Next time, I promise."

Jeff looked sad, but Rayna couldn't think about that now, she had to get out of there before she fell apart. She walked up to him kissing him awkwardly. "Thanks, I had a nice time. I'll call."

Then she turned around and headed out the door. She panicked when she realized her car was still at the bar. She could go back in and ask Jeff to drive her, but she didn't really want to do that so she called a cab. Luckily he lived in one of those high-rise apartments in downtown Nashville.

When she finally made it back to her car Rayna looked at herself in the mirror. She was still in the tight little dress from the night before, mascara smudged on her face, hair in a tangled mess. She was lucky the parent meeting was a lie. "Oh Rayna," she said out loud to herself. "You're a real mess."


	10. Chapter 10

**I just read some of the script for episode #5 and it's left me in a depressed state that can only be rectified by some happy Deyna moments, so I hope you guys enjoy.**

##

Deacon and Maddie sat around the kitchen table. He'd made mac and cheese for dinner, it wasn't the best meal she'd ever eaten, but it was made by her dad, and these days that was enough.

Deacon wasn't sure how Maddie was going to feel about having Rayna along on their picnic. He knew that she'd wanted alone time with him, but she had been the one to invite Daphne, so maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal.

"Hey Maddie, I talked to your mamma and she said it's fine if Daphne comes with us this weekend. Only thing is, I felt like I should invite her too. I hope you're ok with that?"

Maddie thought about it for a second, she did miss her mom, even if she didn't want to admit it to anyone. She'd been longing to have a real family again, she and Daphne, a mom and dad. She thought maybe she could have that with Rayna and Deacon, she just had to get Caitlin out of the way. All of a sudden she had an idea.

"That's fine, actually, I was going to talk to you about the picnic. I've heard you mention a few times that you have a cabin, I was thinking that maybe we could have the picnic there?"

"Maddie the cabin is three hours away, that's not really a day picnic kind of place."

"Then why don't we stay the weekend?"

Deacon coughed to hide his discomfort at Maddie's suggestion. Spending the day with Rayna was one thing, spending the whole weekend with her at the cabin was something else entirely.

"Sweetie, I don't think your mom is going to want to be away for the whole weekend."

"I'll ask her, it will be fine I'm sure. We can leave after school on Friday and be up there before it gets too dark, then come back on Sunday. It will be perfect."

It didn't sound perfect to Deacon, but he hated to disappoint Maddie. He hadn't quite gotten out of the phase yet where he was saying yes to almost anything the girl asked.

"Fine, if your mamma says it's ok we can go."

"Great!"

Maddie ran off to call Rayna. It really didn't take much convincing. All she had to say was that she, Deacon, and Daphne would be spending the whole weekend alone together at the cabin and Rayna jumped at the idea. It didn't matter whatever else she had planned, the idea of having her whole family around for the entire weekend was what Rayna wanted more than anything.

##

When Friday came Rayna and Daphne drove over to Deacon's and then the four of them piled into Deacon's car and headed up to the cabin.

They stopped for food on the way, so the sun was long past set when they arrived. The car ride hadn't been awkward per se, but it wasn't the family sing along that Rayna had hoped for either. Deacon had stayed quiet most of the ride, or when he did speak it was to the girls. Rayna peered over at him a couple of times to see if maybe he was looking at her, but he wasn't. He had his eyes trained on the road ahead. Well, I guess that's good she thought, remembering back to the last time they were in a car together.

Rayna was hoping that maybe they'd stay up and play some music when they arrived, she helped Maddie unload her guitar from the back of the SUV. While she was pulling it out she noticed it was the only guitar back there.

"Where's your guitar Deacon?"

"I didn't bring it. I don't really play anymore."

"What do you mean you don't play anymore? I know that your range has been limited since the accident, but that doesn't mean you can't play anything."

"I know, guess I just haven't felt like it, that's all." Deacon kicked the dirt a little with his boot, then quickly changed the subject. "Who wants a tour?"

"She wants a bed," Maddie pointed at a half asleep Daphne.

"Well, there's only two beds in the cabin, both queen. You and Daph can share the one in the back room, your mamma can have the other, and I'll take the couch."

Maddie helped a sleepy Daphne into the back bedroom leaving Deacon and Rayna alone in the living room.

"I can't make you take the couch. It's your cabin Deacon, you take the bed."

"No, I insist Rayna, I'm fine on the couch."

"That's ridiculous, remember last time you tried to sleep on a couch when we were one hotel room down last year in Vegas? You complained of back pain for a month. Listen, it's a big bed, there's no reason why we can't share it."

"That's not happening Rayna."

"Don't be silly we've slept in the same bed thousands of times before."

"Yeah, when we were together, and if you remember correctly, I don't think there was ever a night where we _just _slept."

"Well, it's different, we're not dating now, you're being silly Deacon, we're adults we can share a bed for two nights without anything happening. I'm not going to force myself on you or anything."

Deacon laughed a little, "Good to know, fine we'll share the bed." Sharing a bed with her scared the hell out of him, but he wasn't going to let her know that. He kept thinking about the aroma of her hair while she slept, how she made those little breathing noises when she was in her REM cycle, all the things that endeared her to him. He wasn't sure he was ready to be confronted by them.

The two of them got ready for bed. Rayna was in the bathroom taking off her make-up, so by the time she got into the room Deacon was already in his boxers under the covers.

As Rayna lifted the blanket to join him she softened her voice. "Listen, I know you didn't really want me here, and that I kind of gave you no other choice. I know you hate me Deacon, but lets just try to get through this for the girls."

"I don't hate you Ray, there's times I wish I did, but I don't. You think after all those years in each other's lives I could really hate you? It's not that. I just think we're better off not being in each other's lives. You and I we're all passion and fire, lots of happiness and lots of heartache. We're always at the extreme of one or the other. I'm an alcoholic, I can't really do extremes, I have to keep even keeled, that's how I stay sober.

Rayna knew she should just leave it at that, but she couldn't help prying a little. "And Caitlin…she keeps you even keeled?"

"Yeah, she's good for me Ray. I care about her, I enjoy being with her, but I'm not going to feel like I'm dying if I lose her. I'm not going to reach for that drink."

Rayna got quiet and thought about it for a while. She never wanted to be the reason he reached for drink. She'd been so hurt when she'd found out that Deacon was with Caitlin, that he'd replaced her so soon after their split. It had made her feel like all those years he'd said he loved her and no one else were a lie, she hadn't really thought about it from his perspective, that he was just doing what was best for him and his sobriety regardless of his feelings for her. He was making a mature decision and she was hating him for it.

Rayna turned to look at Deacon. "When we were together years ago I was always afraid that I was going to lose you. That I'd come home one day and I'd find you dead from an overdose of pills, or you'd drank yourself to death. Back when I made the decision to leave you and marry Teddy, I thought my days with you were numbered. Maybe there'd be a few more weeks, a couple of months, possibly if I was lucky a year. When Cole said the only way he thought you'd get better was if I cut you loose it was a Hail Mary pass, and it worked. Since then every day I've had with you in my life I see as a bonus."

Deacon looked back at her, every time they had talked about him going into rehab it had been emotional. Him screaming at her for leaving him, Rayna screaming and crying back about how rough those days had been on her. This was the first time they were discussing it in a mature manner. Not yelling, but still poignant. He could see the pools of tears forming in Rayna's eyes as she tried to convey what she was thinking.

"I got 14 extra years of you by my side. 14 extra years of you backing me up on guitar, 14 years of sitting in the nose bleeds with you, 14 years with you as my friend, of you being there when I needed you." The tears released from Rayna's eyes and started streaming down her cheeks. "And I got two wonderfully amazing months of you and I together, with you sober, just like I'd always longed for all those years ago. And maybe that's all we get, but it's 14 years and two months longer than I thought I was going to get with you, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. So if you want to cut me out of your life now, if that's what you need to move forward in your life, to be healthy and happy, it will break my heart to be without you, but at least I got that time with you."

Deacon breathed in. Her words affected him more than he'd hoped. He didn't think there was anything she could say to him to break his resolve, but this, letting him go, putting his needs in front of hers, that was something he hadn't expected. Tears were starting to form in his eyes as well. He reached out and pulled her towards him kissing the top of her head. Then he lifted her face towards him and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. He wanted to say the perfect thing, but he was at a total loss for words so instead he let his instincts take over and he kissed her. His mouth went crashing down on hers sucking at the tender skin of her lips.

Rayna was taken aback. She hadn't been expecting that and she was startled when she first felt his lips brush against her own. Once she got over the surprise a flood of excitement and relief washed over her body. She reached for him running her fingers through his hair and pulling his body closer to her own. She opened her mouth letting their tongues touch in a surge of electricity. She couldn't get enough of him, it had been so long and god, he tasted so good.

Deacon knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't help himself. The passion overwhelmed him, just like he was afraid of, and he couldn't stop himself. He lay her back on the bed covering her body with his own. The feel of her soft skin beneath the weight of his body was almost too much to take. He'd missed her so much. He pulled away for a moment removing her tank top and her shorts, and quickly making his own boxers disappear.

Rayna reached for him again, their hands moved in a mad frenzy, it was almost as if they were both afraid that if they stopped for even a second it would break the spell and the other one would disappear. Within seconds he'd entered her. He moved inside of her, placing his hands on her face and staring into her eyes as they rocked back and forth.

He'd started to get used to being with Caitlin, but this, being with Rayna, this was home. As the waves of pleasure at being close to him again passed over her Rayna wanted to scream in ecstasy, but she knew the girls were just down the hall. She'd never really had to worry about that when she was living with Teddy, but then again, Teddy had never made her feel the way Deacon did.

After it was over Deacon pulled her into his arms, softly caressing the skin along her arm. She looked up at him, stroking his chin. "I love you so much Deacon. No matter what, I always will."

"I love you too Ray. I'm not sure where we go from here, but I love you too." The pair put their heads back onto the pillow and drifted off to sleep, entangled in each other's arms, breaths mingling as dusk turned into night.


	11. Chapter 11

**I thought I'd do something different for this chapter. I wanted to explore the next scene from first Deacon's and then Rayna's perspective, so you get the same scene twice.**

##

Before I even open my eyes I can smell the peppermint shampoo that she uses. It's both comforting and alarming at the same time. Once I'm fully awake I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes contemplating what happened last night. Rayna has her arm thrown over my chest and the supple skin of her breast pressed up against my body. I try not to get excited, but it's a losing battle.

Then the guilt hits. I've never cheated on anyone before. Well, not really. Stacey and I were sort of on a break when Rayna and I slept together the last time, and I let her know right away that I wanted to end it. This is different. Caitlin and I are going strong, or at least I thought so, and I'm sure she thinks so. I hadn't even told her that Rayna was coming up here. Just that I was taking the girls to the cabin, purposefully leaving out that Rayna was one of the "girls."

I'm so confused and overwhelmed I don't know what to do. The morning sun streams through the cabin windows hitting Rayna's and my naked bodies, just like it has a thousand times before, and I finally realize that no matter how hard I try to fight it, I'm never going to stop loving her. I can either accept that, or I'll probably kill myself trying to work against it. But just cause I love her doesn't mean she's what's best for me either, and I accept that too. I have a decision to make, and I also accept that I'm not ready to make it yet.

I get out of bed before she wakes up. I need some regrouping time before I fall back into the uncontrollable passion from last night. I'm still mad at her, but I've started to understand her a little better. The anger isn't so ever present. I wander into the kitchen and start pulling out the groceries from the night before. I'm frying bacon and cooking eggs when the girls wander out wiping the sleep away from their eyes. They're so sweet, and I'm so emotionally raw after last night that I almost start to cry right there, but I collect myself and tell them to take a seat and breakfast will be right up. They're bouncing off the walls chatting about all the things they want to do today when Rayna wanders out in the same tank top and shorts she was briefly wearing last night. She assesses the scene and gives me a little smile. I'm scared to break the spell from last night so I give her a quick smile back.

Five minutes later we're all sitting at the table shoving food in our mouths and laughing about the way Daphne reacted to a spider she saw crawling up the wall last night.

"It had _huge_ hairy legs!"

I laugh along with them, and for a second I really feel like we're a family, and it's everything I've ever wanted. The thought is brief though, and I push it away when I remember the complicated nature of the situation. We make plans to spend the day by the river. I pack a picnic while the girls all shower. Turkey and ham sandwiches for Rayna, and Maddie, and I, PB & J for Daphne.

We hike about a half-mile down the river to a clearing where the water is calm, and the dandelions pepper the soft grass. We lay down our blanket and play a game Daphne has learned in school where you have to come up with country names based on the last letter of the country the person said before. At first Maddie protests saying it's just for kids, but we all join in and soon even she is having fun. Maddie says Denmark and I can't remember the name of a country that starts with a K so I make up something that sounds long and vaguely Russian.

"Kapremastan"

Maddie and Daphne protest that it's not a real country, but Rayna backs me up with a wink and we look at each other and smile. She has a piece of dandelion that must have blown onto her face and I reach over to softly brush it from under her eye. The action feels very intimate, maybe even more so then the passion of last night, and my whole body grows warm at the contact.

The girls run off to go swimming in the river and Rayna and I lay down on the blanket. We make idle chatter about the girls' swimsuits or something like that. We still haven't talked about last night. I'm not sure what to say. Even if I can get past my anger I still have Caitlin to think about. I meant what I'd said last night about needing to be even keeled, and Caitlin does that for me. Despite the contentment of the moment, I know that if I am going to take the "Rayna" fork in the road there'll be a lot of bumps and more highs and lows than I might be capable of handling. I've barely been sober 6 months at this point. 6 months, man, it was just yesterday when I could say 13 years and 6 months. That scares me again, but I want to enjoy this brief moment of tranquility so I push the thought out of my mind.

Rayna has laid down on the blanket on her back and fallen asleep. I guess we didn't get much rest last night. I'm lying next to her and I roll over on my side and stare at her a minute. She looks so peaceful and young. She almost looks like she did when we first came up here to this spot 20 years ago when I bought the cabin with our first big royalty check. I remember being here with her on a blanket then, but we weren't doing much sleeping. We'd been celebrating our success and planning out our future, then making love under the willow tree. Funny, the path we took to get here, neither one of us could have even imagined back then, but 20 years later we were still here…together.

I inch over so I'm close to Rayna. I bury my head in her hair and wrap my arm over her body. I'll think about our future after this weekend, but right now feels perfect, and I don't want to let that slip away. I hear the kids laughing and playing in the river as I close my eyes and join Rayna in my first peaceful sleep in 6 months.

##

I roll over in bed and reach for him but he's not there. Panic sets in, and I'm not sure if last night was real or a dream. Then I realize that I'm naked, and a little sore from his size, and I know at least I'm not imagining things. I bury my face in the pillow, it still smells like him, musky with a hint of Irish Spring, or whatever generic soap he buys. I'm a little afraid to get up. If he's not here lying next to me, I'm not sure what I'm going to find on the other side of the door when I emerge. Maybe he regrets last night, maybe he's even mad at me for talking him into it when he said he was afraid of us being able to share a bed without making love. I guess he was right.

I start to smell the aroma of bacon and eggs and think he can't be that mad if he's cooking. I search around for my pajamas and find my tank top pushed down to the bottom of the bed and my shorts half-way across the room where Deacon had thrown them last night. I know the girls are here so I give myself a look in the mirror before I exit to make sure there are no tell tale signs of last night's activities. I'm ok so I exit the bedroom.

Deacon is by the stove cooking up a storm and Daphne and Maddie are standing by him chatting away. The three of them are talking and laughing. It's like watching a scene from one of my fantasies come true and I get a little teary. I catch Deacon's eye and smile at him. My god, I love him so much. He smiles back and my heart melts all over again. The girls notice me and Daphne runs over to give me a hug. Just then Deacon turns off the stove.

"Breakfast is served! Everyone over to the table."

We gather around and start to shove the food in our mouths. The girls are being their adorable selves. Daphne is telling a story about being scared of a spider and Maddie is making fun of her. I'm with both of my girls for the first time in what seems like forever. It feels like old times, but with Deacon instead of Teddy, which makes it feel a thousand times better. I'm so overwhelmed with happiness I can barely stand it, but then I get hit with a wave of regret. If I had just waited, if I hadn't married Teddy, it could have been like this for the last 14 years. I try not to dwell. This moment is too perfect.

We finish breakfast and the girls and I take turns in the little shower that Deacon has always refused to upgrade. We used to get in fights about it all the time, but now it just seems quaint, and _so_ Deacon, and I wouldn't want it any other way. By the time we get out he's packed the picnic basket for us. Well, an old cooler than probably housed beer at one time, but still, when did he get so domestic?

We hike downstream to a clearing by the edge of the river. I remember coming here with him a few months back before the accident. It was a warm night and we had gone skinny dipping despite the fact that the water still had a chill. He had wrapped me up in his arms telling me that he'd keep me warm, and then he had…all night long. That was wonderful, but this, with the girls, this was even better.

We stretched out on the blanket and Daphne wanted to play the country name game. Maddie pretended like it was a stupid kids game, but I remember her loving that game just a year or two ago. I'm not great at this game, but I know Deacon is even worse with geography. I once mentioned that I had a show at a Croatian resort and he asked me if that was in Ohio. He comes up with this ridiculous country name that starts with a 'K.' The girls make fun of him, but I back him up.

"That's one of the countries in the former Soviet Union."

The girls look skeptical, but us parents have to stick together. I wink at him and he smiles back, and once again my heart floods with so much love. I never want this moment to end. Then the next thing I know he's reaching over and wiping something away from my face. He touches me so softly and lovingly that my whole body quivers. I'm in a trance when Daphne interrupts.

"Can we go swimming?"

It's barely spring, but it's an especially warm day. I guess we can thank global warming for that. I tell them that they can play in the shallow part of the river as long as the two of them stick together. They strip down to their bathing suits and run off to the water. I notice Maddie is wearing a two-piece and I'm a little shocked.

"Where'd she get that thing?"

"I think Caitlin took her shopping last week. No good?"

I wince at the mention of Caitlin's name. I had almost forgotten about her in the dream that had been today. I try to push her out of my mine and just laugh at Deacon.

"It's fine. It's just, Maddie is growing up so quickly. Just check with me before you let her start dating."

"Dating? No boy is going to go near my daughter until she's at least 21."

I love it when Deacon gets protective of Maddie, of our little girl. I smile again and realize how tired I am. I haven't slept well since Maddie's moved out of the house. Actually, if I'm being honest with myself since before the CMAs. I lay back and let the warm breeze wash over me. Deacon is lying next to me and I can feel his hot breath on my ear. It feels so good, and I'm so relaxed for the first time in months, that I just drift off to sleep. I stir a little when he wraps his arm over me and I feel his lips brush against my ear. I worry that this, like the last time we were together, might just be a temporary respite in the tumultuous saga of our love story, but for the moment all is right in the world, and I drift back to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry this took so long, and it's kind of short guys. I got caught up in a **_**Scandal **_**marathon last week, and this week I'm actually taking a road trip through Tennessee. Will reach Nashville tomorrow. Maybe it will inspire me for a future chapter.**

##

Rayna watched Maddie and Deacon from the kitchen where she was making dinner; meatballs, with this linguine that she had picked up from a specialty shop in Nashville. Today had been so amazing, they'd fallen asleep by the bank of the river while the girls swam, and for the first time in ages everything had felt so peaceful. It was almost too perfect, like a scene from a dream. She was afraid for the rest of the day that she would say something and wake up, but it hadn't happened yet. Rayna stared out into the living room. Maddie was playing a song on her guitar and Deacon was giving her pointers.

"I don't think I stretch that far, it's too difficult."

"Nonsense, you just need to practice, you'll get there eventually. Ya think that I was able to play all the complicated chords I play…eh, played when I was your age?"

"Why don't you show me, it will be easier if I see you?" Maddie looked up at him with anticipation. She loved watching him play, and was hoping he'd take her guitar and show her how it was really done

Deacon took a deep breath. He knew he couldn't play those chords anymore. His hand hurt too much, there was too much scar tissue. That part of his life was done. "I'd love to Darlin' but,…I really can't anymore since the accident."

Deacon could see the pained look on Maddie's face and he wanted to make it go away. He knew that no matter how many times he and Rayna told her it wasn't her fault she blamed herself for the accident, for his injury. He didn't want her to feel guilty about it for the rest of her life so he decided no matter how much it hurt he was going to do it.

"OK, let me show you."

Deacon took the guitar in his hands and placed it on his knee. It had been weeks since he'd held a guitar like this, and the feeling was almost as good as holding Rayna again after all that time. In fact it was very similar. It just felt right. He and a guitar, everything had just always worked. He strummed a few easy chords, then made a reach for the chord he was teaching Maddie. He winced with pain when he tried to slide his hand like that, fingers spread, light pressure of a pinky on one string, gentle caress of a pointer on another, but he pushed through it. He looked at the smile on his daughter's face when he played the chord, and that was enough to make him forget about the pain.

"See, just like that."

"Oh, I get it. You move you're second finger to the G string while you're down strumming."

"Yeah, that's it."

Rayna looked on smiling. She knew how much pain Deacon was in, but she was so proud of him for pushing through it instead of just feeling sorry for himself like he would have done in the past. Maybe knowing he has a daughter was really better for everyone concerned. She leaned on her spoon and sighed as she realized that maybe she shouldn't have waited so long to tell Deacon the truth.

She finished up the dinner and turned off the stove. Being careful not to ruin the father daughter moment she tip toed over to the couch area where her family was sitting.

"That sounds great y'all. That's one of my favorite songs. Could I sit in?"

"Sure mom, do you and Deacon want to sing while I play?"

"I'd love that if Deacon wants to?"

"Yeah, that sounds great."

Maddie started to play the song while Rayna sang lead and Deacon sang harmony. It sounded so beautiful to Rayna. Here they were _her_ family, for the first time ever, singing and playing music together. It felt so wonderful she was overwhelmed. When the song finished she smiled at her two band mates.

That was so great y'all. We should be a trio.

"Really mom? Could we be a trio?"

"Now hold on a minute, I was just saying that because we sounded good. I'm not talking about professionally."

"But why not, we could be a great professional band."

"Because you're too young."

"I'm 14, Juliette was around that age when she started."

"Well, you're not Juliette, and I'm certainly not her mamma."

"I know, but Juliette had no one. I have you and Deacon, we could be a great trio. What more supervision would I need than travelling around with my parents?"

Both Rayna and Deacon loved Maddie referring to the two of them as her parents. They looked up and smiled at each other, each one knowing exactly what the other was thinking. Rayna had missed Maddie so much, it was hard to deny the girl the opportunity to be with her on tour.

Rayna started slowly. "Well, my boss has wanted me to start touring again. Maybe doing a family act wouldn't be such a bad idea."

Maddie nearly jumped up and down with excitement. "Oh my god really?"

"Well, we'd have to run it by the record label, and it's only if Deacon would want to do it."

"Maddie honey, I'd love to do it, but with my hand like this," He held up his damaged fingers. "I don't think that's an option for me."

He could see the disappointment on her face. "But you just played really well, and this would be the best thing ever."

Deacon knew that the thought of going back up on a professional stage with his hand in such bad shape wouldn't be the best idea, but when he looked at the elated expression on his daughter's face the thought of breaking her heart was more painful than anything he would have to put his hand through.

"OK, we could try it out."

Maddie was so excited she could barely stay in her chair. "What are we going to call ourselves."

"I don't know, what do you want us to be know as?" Deacon asked.

"Hmm, well, we all have different last names despite the fact that we're family. I've always thought that was weird. Couldn't we be a family name like the Carters?"

"Well which would it be sweetie?" Rayna asked. "We can't really be the Conrad's since Neither Deacon and I are Conrad's. We could be the Jaymes' but Deacon isn't really a Jaymes. Well, and you and I aren't Claybournes."

"Well, we should be."

"We should be what?"

"Claybournes. I mean, my last name should be Claybourne, right?"

"Well, yes sweetie, I guess, technically you should be Maddie Claybourne, but you're Conrad, and I'm not Claybourne."

"Yeah, but you could be too."

Both Rayna and Deacon blushed when she said this. The idea of Rayna and Deacon getting married hadn't been discussed since that night in 1998 when a drunken Deacon showed up at Rayna's doorstep with a ring he had won at a carnival. Yes today had been perfect, but they were nowhere near discussing marriage. Rayna wasn't sure how much her older daughter had perceived about what had gone on in the last 24 hours, but she was playing it close to the vest.

"Deacon and I aren't even a couple right now. He's dating Caitlin." Rayna choked a little when she said it, and when she looked at Deacon she could tell that he was surprised by her statement as well.

"I don't care, you and Deacon and I are a family and I think we should be known as one. We're the Claybournes."

At this point Rayna just gave in. "Ok, if that's what you want to be known as that's fine with me. Deacon?"

Deacon nodded with approval. "Well, I've got to admit, I'm real flattered that you two want to use my name. I'd be more than pleased."

"Great, it's settled then. We're the Claybournes."


	13. Chapter 13

Rayna rolled over in bed throwing her arm over Deacon's warm body. She felt the sun streaming in and was glad that he was still lying next to her this morning. After dinner last night the girls had gone to bed early, exhausted from their day in the river, and she and Deacon had used the time to bat around a few lyrics for a new song. There was still very little conversation about their relationship, but once they were tucked securely in the hand carved bed they'd let their hands and their lips do all the talking.

As she opened her eyes to the morning sun, Rayna let a small smile creep onto her face, but it quickly disappeared when she saw that Deacon was awake, just staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, are you ok?"

He turned his head, looking over at her without shifting his body. "I didn't mean to wake you. I was just thinking."

Rayna felt a little nervous. Usually in the morning he would reach for her, nuzzle her neck. He hadn't even touched her arm that was still on his chest. "You didn't wake me, you just looked like something was bothering you."

Deacon took a deep breath, exhaling all the air out of his body. "This weekend, this has been great Ray, it's been like a fantasy, but that's what it is. You, me, Maddie, going on the road together, playing songs as a family sounds wonderful in the abstract, but it has very little to do with reality."

"Are you going to back out on her? She'll be devastated."

Deacon winced. Rayna could see that the thought of hurting Maddie was something that stung him.

"I don't want to disappoint her, but let's be real about this Ray. First, you and I aren't married. How are we going to explain calling ourselves The Claybournes without airing our dirty laundry all over the place? Second, don't you think Teddy would go crazy if we took Maddie with us on the road? Also, my hand isn't what it used to be, I couldn't really contribute more than singing back-up and some basic riffs. It wouldn't be the show that anyone wants it to be."

Rayna rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling mimicking Deacon's position. She knew he was right, but she wasn't quite ready to let go of the fantasy.

"Well, maybe we don't call ourselves the Claybournes, and maybe we do a few shows throughout the southeast on weekends so Teddy isn't so upset, and don't worry about your hand. We don't have to do any songs with difficult riffs."

Deacon gave her a worried look, then stared back up at the ceiling. "Well, and then there's Caitlin. I don't know how happy she'd be about me traveling around with you."

This knocked the wind out of Rayna. They hadn't discussed anything about them past this weekend, but she assumed there would be a _them_ passed this weekend.

"I thought that you and I…what has this been?"

Deacon sat up in the bed, careful not to look directly into Rayna's eyes. "This has been wonderful Ray, but like I said, this has been a fantasy. We haven't addressed any of our problems, what's never worked between us hasn't really changed."

"So you're just going to go back to her as if this never happened? Are you even going to tell her about us?"

"I don't know what good that will do."

Rayna couldn't believe her ears. Maybe he was right, maybe neither of them had changed at all. Deacon was still running away from his problems rather than facing them head on. "What happened to taking accountability? Dealing with the decisions you've made?"

Deacon stood up and started pulling on his clothes. "I can't have this conversation with you right now Rayna. Let's just get through the rest of the weekend.

"What are we going to tell Maddie?"

Deacon stopped throwing on his clothes and turned around to look at Rayna for the first time in the conversation.

"You really think you want us to play together?"

"I think we need to give it a shot, you can disappoint and hurt me Deacon, I'm an adult, but you can't hurt her like that. That's part of being a parent. If you say something, you don't get to just take it back in the light of the day."

Deacon looked down at his feet and thought for a while, then looked back up again. "OK, let's give playing together a shot. We can come up with some group name without any of our names in it, or maybe we can just be Rayna Jaymes and Family, or something like that. That way I'm not tied to having to play with you if it's not working and we just want to make it you and Maddie."

This isn't exactly what Rayna was hoping for, but it would have to do for now.

"OK, we'll talk to her about it on the ride back. Thanks for giving this a shot Deacon."

"No problem. I'd do almost anything for that girl."

##

Maddie took the news of the shift much better than either Deacon or Rayna had expected. As long as she was getting to play shows she really didn't care what they called themselves, or who else was up there. Daphne had been a little jealous when she heard the news, but Rayna promised that one day Rayna Jaymes and Family would include the little girl as well. She just had to get bigger. By the time they pulled onto Deacon's street Caitlin was there waiting for him.

"Crap," Rayna heard him say under his breath. She smiled a little despite how awkward she knew this was going to be. When they pulled up to the curb the girls got out and started collecting their stuff from the back of the SUV. Rayna helped them while Deacon went to talk to Caitlin.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same about her?" Caitlin nodded her head towards Rayna.

"I told you I was going up to the cabin with the girls."

"Yeah, but you forgot to mention Rayna was one of the girls."

"I didn't mention that?" Deacon said sheepishly. "Must have slipped my mind."

Maddie blew by Deacon and Caitlin on her way into the house.

"Hey," Rayna yelled after her. "Aren't you even going to say goodbye?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry mom, I forgot you didn't live with us for a second."

Caitlin flashed a look at the two of them that asked what had she missed this weekend. Deacon grabbed her arm, escorting her towards the house.

"Let's go in and chat Caitlin. I'll fill you in on the weekend."

"Mom, and Deacon, and I are going to go on the road together."

Caitlin's eyes flashed back to Deacon. "Really? Wow, isn't that nice," she said with a sarcastic edge to her voice. "I guess I did miss a lot this weekend."

Maddie hugged Rayna and Daphne goodbye. "When can we start rehearsing?"

"Well, let me talk to Jeff and Bucky about it first, then we can talk about rehearsals. I'll call you tomorrow ok?"

"OK. See you guys later."

Rayna walked up to Deacon to say goodbye. She thought about kissing him on the lips, but she didn't want to be _that_ woman, so instead she settled for his cheek. "Thanks for the wonderful weekend at the cabin Deacon. I'll call you about the tour."

Deacon was careful to avoid Caitlin's stare. "Sure, sounds good Ray."

He ushered Caitlin into the house as Daphne and Rayna got into her car and drove away.

When they got inside Deacon gestured for them to go into the bedroom so that Maddie wouldn't hear their conversation.

"What is going on with you Deacon? You're taking Rayna away for the weekend, you're touring with her, is there something else you'd like to tell me?"

"I took Maddie away for the weekend, I'm touring with Maddie, Rayna just happened to be part of the package deal."

"Why do I not completely believe you? If this was so innocent, why did you feel like you couldn't tell me the truth?"

Deacon started unpacking his clothes so he wasn't looking at Caitlin when he talked to her. "I don't know what you're talking about Caitlin."

"Then why can't you even look at me? Deacon!" Caitlin pulled on Deacon's shoulder so he was facing her."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me nothing happened between you and Rayna up there."

Deacon had wanted to just leave the cabin up at the cabin, but he couldn't lie straight to Caitlin's face. What kind of a relationship would that be.

"Well, I can't exactly say that."

"Are you kidding me? Did you sleep with her?"

"It just happened Caitlin."

"Oh sure, because so many people just accidently take off all their clothes and enter another person. Don't give me that bullshit. Why can't you just be honest with me and tell me that you wanted to sleep with Rayna?"

"Fine, you want me to be honest with you Caitlin, I wanted to sleep with Rayna, I have always and will always want to sleep with Rayna, and I will always love her, but that doesn't mean she's the best thing for me, that she's good for me. I'm with you because you're good for me, and you're good for my sobriety."

"Unbelievable that you think that's a good excuse. Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth right now? Basically you just told me that you'll always be madly in love with another woman, but I don't incite enough passion in you to make you want to drink."

Caitlin started going through his drawers and closet grabbing stuff that belonged to her. "I need to get out of here. You and I Deacon, we're over. I'm not going to be your consolation prize. If you want to spend the rest of your life in a toxic relationship with Rayna Jaymes that's your problem, but I don't need you being mine."

Deacon started to follow her out the door, but he knew there was really nothing he could say to keep here from going at this point. As soon as she slammed the front door Maddie popped up in the doorway.

"Is she gone for good?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Good, I never liked her anyway." Maddie grabbed a soda and walked back to her bedroom.

Deacon just stood in the middle of the living room. No matter how many women he surrounded himself with he was never going to understand one of them.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks so much for the support guys. Sorry for the longer wait times for chapters these days, but I had a clearer vision of where I wanted to go with the story at the start, now it's taking me longer to decide on a direction. **

##

Rayna called Bucky as soon as she woke up. She wanted to run the idea of the tour by him before she brought it to Jeff.

"I don't know Rayna, are you sure that you and Deacon on the road together is a good idea? I feel like every time you guys get some distance and things even out in your lives you go running back to each other and, well…you know what happens."

Rayna did know what happened. She was feeling a little bit like she was caught in the middle of it right now, but she'd made a promise to her daughter and she didn't want to break it.

"It's not like that this time Bucky. Maddie is going to be there, it's a family thing, and Deacon is in a relationship. There won't be any drama, I promise."

"OK, if this is really what you want to do, I'm not going to stand in your way." Bucky shook his head. He was just hoping that a third person in the mix wasn't going to mean three times the trouble."

##

The conversation with Jeff was a little more complicated, especially considering the way she had left things with him last week. She had made an appointment in an effort to try to be as professional as possible, but when she walked into Jeff's office he took her in his arms and tried to kiss her. Rayna pulled away letting him reach her cheek instead of her lips.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing, but this is your office Jeff, let's stay professional."

"When am I going to get to cook you that breakfast?"

"I don't know. I'm so busy these days. We'll have to see, but that's not why I'm here. I want to go back out on a small tour."

"Really? That's great Rayna. I'll have Steve start planning the venues with Bucky. Has he hired the band yet?"

"No band."

"What do you mean no band?"

"This is going to be small Jeff. Just me, and well…my family."

"Your family? I thought you were the only musician in your family?"

"Well, my daughters sing, and my oldest plays guitar. She's 14 now, and I told her we could do some shows together. She's real good. Marshall was always asking me to sign them."

"So you and your daughter out on the road together? Not exactly what I was thinking would bring in the big bucks, but I think we could make it work. Rayna Jaymes and Daughter. Just like the Judds."

"Well, yes, but there'll be one more."

"Oh, I thought you were insinuating your youngest is too young."

"She is, I wasn't talking about her."

Rayna was a little nervous to tell him about Deacon, especially since he knew about their past.

"I was talking about Deacon."

"Deacon? I'd heard that he can't even play anymore. Rayna this isn't you taking pity on him because of the accident is it?"

"Of course not. He can still play, he's just been scared to get back in there. He's fine. I saw him play this weekend."

"He played a gig this weekend? Around here?"

"No, not a gig, he played with Maddie and I up at his cabin."

"Oh, I see what's going on here. Why you pulled away. You're back together. Rayna if you want to give your injured boyfriend another shot, you can do it on your own dime, I don't want to waste Edgehill money on a half-assed amateur tour."

"It's not like that Jeff. We're not back together. Deacon's fine, and Maddie is real good. I promise, it will make money."

Rayna could tell that Jeff was uncomfortable, but he still wasn't ready to get on her bad side. "OK, let's start with a few dates around the south and we'll see how it does."

"Exactly, that's all I'm asking for Jeff. Thanks so much."

##

Maddie was ecstatic when Rayna called later on to tell her they were a go. She couldn't believe that she was really going to get to sing in front of more than a thousand people.

"We're going to start at The Buckhead Theater in Atlanta in one month so we're going to have to practice every day after school. Are you up for that?"

"Yes, yes, of course mom. I'll even skip school so that I can practice."

"Now wait a minute, there'll be no skipping school, you hear?"

"OK mom."

"Now put Deacon on, I want to talk to him."

Maddie ran to go get Deacon. She found him sitting outside on the porch with his guitar. She held up her sparkly iphone for him.

"Mom wants to talk to you. It's about the tour."

Deacon put down the guitar and grabbed the phone.

"Hey Ray, what's up?"

"Jeff and Bucky OK'd the tour. We start in Atlanta next month on the 14th. Are you alright with that?

"Yeah, that's fine Ray. As long as Maddie is up for it."

"We're only slated for 6 cities to start out with. Atlanta, Charleston, New Orleans, Charlotte, Tallahassee, and ending in Nashville. Two shows per weekend, running for 6 weekends in a row."

Deacon felt a little nervous, but he didn't want to share it with Rayna. He'd been playing guitar on his own when no one could hear him, but he hadn't played for an audience since the accident.

"Sure, sure. Fine."

Rayna sensed the hesitation in his voice. "Are you nervous Caitlin is going to be upset with you spending so much time with me?"

"Caitlin and I broke up Ray."

Rayna wasn't sure if she should be elated, or not care. She wanted him all to herself, but after the way he had ended the weekend, throwing her over and running back to Caitlin she wasn't sure he deserved her.

"Well, glad to know you did the right thing and broke up with her after the weekend."

"Actually, she broke up with me. I told her about us, and well, you know, she wasn't so happy about that."

Rayna smiled to herself. At least he was honest.

"I'm real sorry about how the weekend ended Rayna. I've just been real confused lately."

"Let's not talk about this on the phone ok? I'll see you and Maddie at rehearsal on Wednesday?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

##

When Maddie and Deacon showed up at rehearsal on Wednesday Rayna already had a set list picked out. It was a couple of her new songs, a few covers that would be appropriate for a trio to sing, two songs that Maddie wrote, and a couple of Maddie's favorites that she and Deacon had written back in the day.

Deacon looked over the list, his eyes stopping at the love songs that he and Rayna had written nearly two decades ago.

"Why are we doing these?"

"They're some of Maddie's favorites. We're playing smaller venues, we'll be acoustic, I thought they'd fit."

"Yeah, but Ray don't you think it will be weird to be singing love songs out there with our daughter?"

"We can sing those on our own, and Maddie can back us up on guitar."

Deacon gave her a look like he wasn't sure this was a good idea. Truth be told, he was nervous enough about doing the show, but singing those songs with Rayna again when everything in their personal life was so up in the air made the butterflies in his stomach go crazy.

"It'll be fine. I promise. Let's practice some of them."

The trio sat down and slowly started to go through the songs. It was amazing how well they all meshed together considering they'd never all played together before.

"That's sounding so good guys, and it's only going to get better."

Rayna smiled at a beaming Maddie. They were about to launch into another song when Teddy walked in. Maddie had agreed to spend two nights a week with him, and this was the first night.

"Well, isn't this a special family moment."

"Come on Teddy, don't be like that," Rayna responded to his pointed comment.

"Sorry, but it's 7:15. I thought Maddie was meeting me outside at 7:00?"

"Sorry dad, but we were sounding so good I didn't want to stop."

Teddy had never really understood the draw of music, but he was getting to spend some time with his daughter away from both Rayna and Deacon so he didn't want to upset her by putting down her passion.

"It's fine, go get your things and lets go."

Maddie grabbed her bag, gave both Deacon and Rayna hugs as she walked out the door. Rayna followed them out, stopping Teddy before he got into the car.

"Hey, thanks for not putting up a fuss about us doing this. It means a lot to Maddie."

"I know, and thanks for getting her to spend a couple of nights with me."

"You should feel lucky. She's still not living with me at all."

"Oh, I thought that you and Deacon…I thought this tour meant you were back together."

"No, well, I don't know. I don't really know what we are right now."

"Whatever you decide Rayna, take care of yourself. You know how the two of you can get when you're together. I just don't want Maddie to get caught in the crossfire."

"I promise you Teddy, Deacon and I are not going to do anything to hurt Maddie. We both love her too much for that. If us being together is bad for Maddie, then we wouldn't do it."

Teddy gave her a look that said I know how you can't resist that man. "Alright, I'll trust you."

When Rayna walked back into the studio Deacon was standing up playing an up-tempo acoustic number. It was very different than anything she'd ever heard him play before. She stood in the shadow so he couldn't see her. Rayna was shocked. It wasn't just that the song was good, in fact it was great, it was that all she'd ever really seen Deacon sing was sad love songs. This song was fun, and Deacon was getting into it being flirty and fun; two words she had never really used for his onstage persona before.

When he finished Rayna clapped wildly. Deacon looked shocked and quickly stopped.

"Don't stop for me. That was really wonderful Deacon. I've never heard you play something like that before."

Deacon seemed a little embarrassed. "Well, I was just trying something new out. I'm tired of always being the guy writing the quiet sad love songs. Having Maddie around has shown me the lighter side of life."

Rayna smiled. "Well, whatever it is, I loved it. You should play it in the show."

"Oh no, that was just playing around."

"I'm serious Deacon. You should play it in the show. Both Maddie and I are going to do solos, you should do one too."

"I'll think about it, but I'm not promising anything."

"Well, that's something I guess." Rayna smiled at him, and he smiled back. Then he shifted a little on his feet and looked down.

"Listen Rayna, I know we were all hot and heavy this weekend, but I think I need some time to figure things out for myself. I just broke up with Caitlin, and us spending all this time together with Maddie…I think we should just concentrate on the show for now."

"I agree. Let's put us on the back burner until after the tour. Then we can discuss if there's a future here."

"Great, it's a deal." Deacon walked over to Rayna and softly kissed her on the cheek. "I am looking forward to this Ray. I'm glad you talked me into it."

"See, sometimes I have good ideas."

"That you do Ms. Jaymes, that you do."


	15. Chapter 15

**This got a little smuttier than I had intended. Hope you enjoy.**

**##**

Rehearsals had flown by. It had become a routine that the three of them quickly fell into. Rayna would pick up Maddie after school at 2:30, then head to the rehearsal hall where they'd meet Deacon. He would inevitably be strumming some new tune on his guitar that he had written. Maddie would recount all the drama that had gone on that day with her friend Natalia and the boy that she liked. Rayna would listen like only a mother could, and Deacon would comment that they were too young to be thinking about boys.

When Maddie ran off to find her guitar Deacon leaned in to Rayna. "I don't like how she keeps talking about boys. She's way too young to be starting that."

"You know she's only two years younger than I was when we first met."

"Now why'd you have to go and say that? Now all I can think of is all the not so wholesome fun we had when you were 16, and how I'm going to have to start worrying about her real soon."

Rayna laughed. "Welcome to being a parent."

##

By the time Atlanta rolled around they really started to feel like a group. Maddie was nervous the first time they went out there in front of the audience. Deacon looked over and could tell the girl was shaking a bit. He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. Then he whispered to her. "You're gonna do great Darlin', nothin' to worry about." He flashed her a big smile and she smiled back. He always had a way of making her feel like she could do anything.

By the time they made it halfway through the first song all of her nerves had disappeared and she was just enjoying the sensation of being up on stage singing with her parents. She loved them, and she loved performing. For the first time in her life Maddie really felt like she belonged, like she was exactly where she should be.

They played most of the songs as a trio, but Rayna would do a solo towards the beginning, then Maddie in the middle of the set, and then finally Deacon did one of his new songs towards the end. Tonight he was singing "It's all Good," an upbeat song about staying positive even when life goes to pot around you. Rayna thought how different his music seemed then it had before the accident. She loved to see him this optimistic, and so did the audience. Each night of the tour Deacon was definitely getting the most applause and of course the screaming girls.

After the second night in Charleston she knocked on Deacon's door. "Hey Deacon, can I come in?"

"Of course."

"Great show tonight."

"Yep, I think we're really starting to gel on stage. I can tell that Maddie is getting more comfortable. "

"I really like those songs you've been playing. Your new ones."

"Yeah, I'm starting to really feel like my writing is moving in a great direction."

"It's not just the writing Deacon, it's the performing, you're like a different person up there."

"Well, it's still me Ray. You just normally don't see me cause I'm standing behind you."

"About that, I think it might be time for you to really think about a solo career."

"Well, I have to admit the thought has crossed my mind lately. Caitlin kept encouraging that when we were together."

Rayna tried to ignore the mention of Caitlin. "Have you thought about approaching any labels yet?"

"I'm been thinking about Arista, or maybe Valory or Curb, but I haven't approached anyone yet."

"Why don't you stay with family, why don't you sign with me on Highway 65?"

"You want to sign me Rayna? Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Well, all those years of you backing me up, I think it's time that I take a backseat and promote you. I really want to do this for you Deacon. I think I can really sell you, and you know that I'll support any direction that you want to go in. You're not going to get that at most of those big labels."

Deacon laughed, "Are you giving me a sales pitch here Ray."

Rayna smiled coyly. "Maybe. Is it working?"

"Let me think about it ok?"

"OK, but if you say yes, we'll have you be the opening act at next weekend's show in New Orleans. I know how much you love playing down there."

"Alright, alright, enough with the hard sell," Deacon flashed her one of his warmest smiles. "I will give it some serious thought. I promise."

##

Deacon wasn't sure that he should sign with Rayna. This was his one shot to break out on his own, be his own man, his own artist, without Rayna, but he also knew that no other label would support him the way that Rayna would. He also liked the idea of being on the same record label as Scarlett. It would give them more of a chance to collaborate together, something that had been on his mind since he'd started playing with Maddie. If he, Rayna, and Maddie could tour together as a family, maybe he and Maddie and Scarlett could do the same at some point. They'd be just like the Carters.

When they got home to Nashville Deacon decided to discuss it with Scarlett.

"So what do you think? Should I get on board with you guys, or go my own way?"

"Now I know that you and Rayna have had you're ups and downs, but I'd sure like to be sharing a label with you, and I've got to say she's a real great boss, and not just because she's your ex girlfriend. She is still ex right?"

"Yeah, she's still ex…I guess."

"I'm just saying, that woman loves you Uncle Deacon, when it comes down to it she'd do anything for you, you're not going to find that anywhere else in Nashville."

"Yeah, you're right, alright, I'll do it."

##

Rayna was ecstatic when Deacon agreed to sign with her. She was fluttering around the studio as if she was the one who'd just gotten a record deal. "I know the show this Saturday is real close, but I've heard you play all those songs and I think if you do a short set, maybe 7 songs it would be a good opening act. We'll have to get you a band, maybe a bass player, a drummer, and someone on keyboards? What do you think?"

"Ray, I'm glad you're excited, but can we breathe a second?"

"Sorry, I just, well, I'm sorry."

Deacon walked over to the piano where Rayna was standing and took her hand in his. "Thanks Ray. I really appreciate this."

Rayna looked up at him, he hadn't touched her in weeks and the contact was making her stomach do summersaults. "You know I'd do anything for you Deacon."

He smiled sweetly at her and brushed a kiss against her forehead. "I know."

##

Rayna was right, Deacon was ready by the time the weekend rolled around. The band had some late nights learning the songs, but you couldn't tell that they hadn't been playing together forever. Deacon really was an amazing bandleader.

As Deacon made his way through his set, Rayna had to admit that her excitement waned a bit when she saw the reaction of the crowd. It's not that they weren't enjoying his songs. In fact, it was the exact opposite, they were enjoying it too much. Rayna could see all the girls in the front row swooning away as they seemed mesmerized by Deacon. After he played one of his older love songs Rayna distinctly heard a pretty twentysomething girl in the front row tell her friend that it was going to be her goal that night to get him to sing her that song in a "private" concert.

Rayna's heart started to race. Deacon had always received a lot of attention from the female sex, but it had always been a little more subtle. When they were first out on tour together everyone knew he was hers, and then when she was married to Teddy she tried her hardest to ignore the women that would come up to him after a show. It was easier then since most of the time he'd make some excuse up about him having to rehearse with Rayna. But this time there weren't just a half dozen adoring sparkly girls, there were hundreds of them, and to tell the truth, she was one of them. She couldn't take her eyes off of Deacon the whole time he was playing. With all the turmoil of the accident, and the drama with Maddie she'd almost forgotten how unbelievably sexy he was, and standing up there alone, commanding the attention of two thousand swaying fans he was the sexiest that Rayna ever remembered him looking.

By the time he wrapped his set her body was on fire, her mouth was dry and her heart was still beating a mile a minute. They had twenty minutes in between sets as the crew set up for the trio. Maddie was still in their dressing room getting ready. She loved the primping that went along with the show. It made her feel like a real star.

As Deacon came off of the stage he handed his guitar to a roadie. He went to tell Rayna that he thought it went really well, but he was shocked when she grabbed his hand and pulled him through the crowd backstage, winding him through gear and crew until they were hidden behind a curtain.

Deacon was confused as to what was happening. "What's going on Ray?"

He barely got her name out of his mouth when she had pushed him up against the wall and pressed her mouth to his.

Deacon was startled and tried to pull away a little. "Ray someone could just pull back the curtain and see us."

"I don't care." She kissed him again, this time with more pressure. She ran one hand into his hair and the other over his ass. This made Deacon moan which only spurred her on.

"Ray, this is crazy. " Deacon managed to get out between kisses. "What are we doing?"

"Fuck me Deacon, I want to feel you inside of me. Right here, right now."

Deacon pulled back a little and saw the lust in her eyes. No matter what was going on with them, when she looked at him like that there was no denying her anything.

Deacon flipped her around so her back was flush against the wall knocking over a guitar case that was leaning against the wall. It probably alerted people to their presence, but neither one of them cared at this point.

He trailed kisses down her face and her neck as he managed to inch her skirt up just enough to reveal her leopard print thong. Rayna reached for his pants undoing his belt and the button that was barely concealing how hard he had become. He slid the thong to the side and entered her as Rayna wrapped her legs around his waist drawing him as close to her as possible.

As he began to move inside of her she moved her mouth over to his ear and breathlessly whispered: "Tell me you're mine. Say you belong to me."

Deacon rested his forehead against hers as he continued to increase the speed of his thrusts, and his breaths became labored. "I'm yours Ray, I belong to you, and no one else."

She thrust her tongue into his mouth, trying to match pace with the lower parts of their bodies. Rayna opened her eyes slightly as Deacon moved his mouth back to her neck. She could see feet standing just on the other side of the curtain but she really didn't care, in fact, it was kind of turning her on. All those slutty girls knowing that he was with her, fucking her, right before they went out on stage to sing sweet country songs with _their_ daughter.

"Oh god Deacon, I love you so much."

"I love you too."

Deacon couldn't control himself any longer, the passion overwhelmed him as he felt Rayna's muscles contract around him. He pulled her close as he came whispering her name repeatedly as if in a prayer.

When they were done they readjusted their clothing and peered out of the curtain to make sure no one was standing there as they exited. If anyone had seen them they were doing a good job of pretending like they hadn't noticed. As they walked towards their dressing rooms they ran into Maddie.

"Hey guys, where did you go?"

They both gave each other panicked looks. "Oh honey, we were just discussing some changes to the set."

"Like what?"

Deacon and Rayna looked at each other again. "Um, well, don't worry about it, we'll incorporate those changes next week in Tallahassee," Rayna managed to get out. "We're just going to go and freshen up a bit before the set. We'll meet you out on stage in five."

Deacon and Rayna ran back to her dressing room.

"Nothing like getting caught in afterglow by your daughter."

"Get used to it Claybourne, we're not 19 anymore, we have kids."

"Well nothing that a good lock on a bedroom door wouldn't fix."

"If we ever make it to the bedroom." Rayna looked back over her shoulder at him and smiled. Then she walked out on stage. Deacon paused a second so he could watch the way her ass moved as she strutted to her seat, then he grabbed his guitar and walked out on to the stage taking his own seat next to the only women that mattered to him.


	16. Chapter 16

**A short update. I thought I'd write something happy since tonight is probably going to be devastatingly sad. My heart broke when I saw the preview of them in the smashed SUV with Deacon pleading for her to wake up.**

##

Deacon and Rayna stood in front of the door to her hotel suite in New Orleans. He had his arms around her waist and she was running her fingers through his hair. They had their foreheads pressed together, just breathing in each other's scents.

Finally Deacon spoke. "Baby, I thought we were going to put a hold on figuring us out until after the tour? I mean, don't get me wrong, what happened back there at the theater…that was very exciting…"

"I know, but I just couldn't help myself. I've just been missing you so much lately Babe. I know we're spending all this time together, but that's out on stage. I miss you holding me, touching me, I miss sleeping in your arms at night."

Deacon nuzzled her hair with his face, then brushed kisses in a slow sweep across her forehead. "I wish I could hold you all night long, but you know we can't do that. You're sharing a suite with our daughter. I think we need to figure out what this is before we let Maddie know what's going on."

Rayna breathed in deeply moving her lips to kiss the sensitive area right beneath his ear before sucking sensually on his lobe. "I know, but we'll be back in Nashville tomorrow, and Teddy gets Maddie on Tuesday. That's just a couple of days away. Let's talk about it then. Deal?"

"Yeah, that's a deal."

Rayna let out a little sigh, "OK, I guess it's time to say goodnight then."

Deacon pulled Rayna in closer, moaning as he felt the warmth of her body pressed against his. "Just one more minute."

"Well, we can't sleep together, but that doesn't mean we can't spend a little time in your room," Rayna looked up at him with a devious smile that said there was no way she was ready to say goodnight yet. "Maddie's probably already asleep by now anyway."

Deacon looked over at his room across the hall from theirs. "That's true, she probably won't even miss us for a half hour."

"Half hour? I plan on taking my time with you. I need at least an hour."

Deacon pulled her towards his door. "My god, I'm a lucky man." He fumbled for his key, finally getting the door open, then he pulled Rayna into his arms carrying her into the room and slamming the door behind them.

##

The next morning the three singers made their way onto their tour bus. Rayna had snuck back into her room around midnight checking on Maddie who was in fact sleeping. When they woke up in the morning the girls had met Deacon down in the hotel restaurant for breakfast before grabbing their bags.

Maddie was flipping through her pictures that she'd taken over the last few weeks. "I can't believe the tour is almost over, only two more cities. I'm not ready for it to be over with yet. Do you think maybe we can go on a bigger tour over the summer?"

"We'll see honey. Let's just get through the rest of your school year. You're going to be a sophomore this year. I thought you were saying earlier that you want to go to soccer camp during the summer with your team?"

"Well, that was before we were touring, there's nothing more important than music. Plus, I like being on the road with you guys. It makes me feel like we're a real family."

Deacon smiled at his daughter, "We are a real family Maddie, even if we're all not living together."

"About that Maddie," Rayna interjected. "I was thinking that maybe you'd start spending some weeks living with me instead of just Deacon. I know that Daphne would really like that."

"I have a better idea, why don't we all live together? It's been so much fun on the tour."

Rayna gave Deacon a look that said we need to play this cool. "Well honey, Deacon and I aren't even dating, so moving in together doesn't quite make sense."

"Come on mom, I'm young, but I'm not stupid. I know you guys weren't eating dinner until midnight last night."

Deacon and Rayna smiled at each other uncomfortably. "Well, maybe not, but moving in is still a big step, one that Deacon and I have to talk about on our own."

"I love your mamma, but there's just some things to figure out, alright?"

"Yeah, alright." Maddie went back to playing with her ipad while Deacon and Rayna whispered in their seats.

"I guess she's smarter than we thought."

"Smarter than both of us. That's for sure. We really need to start giving our daughter more credit."

"So what do you think?"

"About what Ray?"

"About us moving in together? I know, I know it's fast, that a couple of months ago you were still with Caitlin, and that we have our problems, and a million other reasons why we shouldn't do it, but my heart says it's what I really want. I want us to be a family Deacon. I want to raise the girls together. Like it always should have been. I know I've made mistakes, and you've made mistakes, but I want to try to fix those together, and I think we're at the point were that might actually be possible."

"It is nice to be optimistic for a change. I want that too baby, I really do. We'll figure it out, whatever we have to do." Deacon reached over and took Rayna's hand in his own. Rayna ran her fingers over the scar on his hand, softly caressing the raised skin. They'd come so far since that night in the Suburban.

She rested her head on his shoulder, and he kissed the top of head, then he lay his head against hers and they both drifted off to sleep as the bus rattled down the highway towards Nashville.


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm starting to feel like the writers are wreaking too much havoc with the Rayna/Deacon love story this season. Especially after reading Dee Johnson's interview. Not sure I'll be able to stick with the show if they mess it up too much. Probably only a couple more chapters left in this story. I tried to make this one as fluffy and optimistic as possible. Smut warning. **

##

Two days later Maddie and Daphne were at Teddy's and Deacon and Rayna were sitting on the couch up at the cabin playing around with a verse of a song they'd been working on for them to sing together.

"I don't know Ray, I just don't think the melody is right for the lyrics. Why don't we try something like this." He proceeded to hum a tune while strumming gingerly on his guitar.

Rayna smiled at him. "You always were a better songwriter than me."

"Nonsense, you wrote some great songs alone. Triple platinum songs."

"Like _Love Ain't Big Enough_?"

The smile disappeared from Deacon's face. "Yeah, like that one, but you know that's not one of my favorites. I was thinking more like _Already Gone_. You know how hard it was for me to sing that song with you up on stage all those years knowing it was about us, about you leaving me, wanting to give up on our love."

Rayna reached over and ran her hand through Deacon's hair. "That was a long time ago Babe. We're not those people anymore, and I promise you, as long as you stay sober, I'll never give up on our love. I'll never give up on you."

Deacon turned towards her taking her face in his hands. "Good, cause I don't think I could go through the pain of losing you again." He placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"I couldn't either. When you were with Caitlin, when you looked at me and told me that we were over, over for good I felt all my strength rush out of my body, like I was losing part of my soul. I don't want to go through that again either. I want it to be just you and me, partners, together, forever."

Deacon laughed a little. "Are you proposing to me Ray?"

He looked at Rayna's face, but there was no sign of humor in her freckled features. "Maybe, what would you say if I was?"

Deacon smiled again. "I'd say where's my ring?"

Despite trying to maintain the serious mood, this made Rayna laugh. "Well, I'll buy you something real pretty next time we go out."

Deacon reached around and grabbed something out of the drawer in his coffee table. "Well, how about this one, will this do?"

Rayna was startled as Deacon pulled out a small velvet box and opened it up revealing a beautiful antique platinum ring with a stunning little diamond in the center. "I know it's not the first engagement ring I've slid on your finger, but I hope this one is the last one you'll ever wear."

Rayna realized that she must have stopped breathing a full 20 seconds ago. She quickly took a breath. "When did you, I mean, we've barely been back together, when did you get that?"

"Well, I bought it almost a year ago when we were dating. I guess that was a little ambitious of me then considering we'd only been back together a month at the time, and you'd wanted to take things slow, but I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. It just took a little longer to get here than I thought it would."

Deacon got down on one knee just as he'd done 15 years ago in the same spot, but this time he'd been sober for nearly a year, and had no plans to spend the night with his hands wrapped around anything but Rayna.

"Rayna Wyatt, you have been the love of my life since I was a teenager, and no matter how hard I've tried to fight it at times, that's just never not going to be true. I know it's been a rough road, and I know I have to take a good portion of the blame for that, but I want to spend the rest of our lives waking up to you and the girls. Marry me baby, be my wife."

Deacon could see the tears starting to stream down Rayna's face and he pulled her face to his kissing away the tears. "Is that a yes?"

Rayna shook her head as she tried to keep the tears from continuing to flow, "Yes, yes I'll marry you. I love you so much Deacon, and more than anything I want to be your wife. I've always wanted to be your wife, since the first time you asked me all those years ago."

Deacon took the ring out of the box and placed it on Rayna's hand. "I hope you like this one better than the last one. To tell you the truth, I was a lot more sober when I picked it out."

"It's beautiful, and so was the first one. I just wish I'd been able to wear it longer."

"I wish that too." All of a sudden Deacon got serious. "I know you've heard it a thousand times before, but I promise you Ray, I'm not that man anymore, you don't have to worry about me, about us. I love you and the girls, and I'll never do anything to jeopardize our family. I'm going to be the man you always wanted me to be."

Rayna smiled at him and ran her hand over his hair. "You always were, you just forgot it sometimes."

He leaned in to kiss her pulling her body under him as they settled on the couch. He was kissing her lips and her neck when Rayna stopped him. "Let's move to the bedroom. I love making love to you in the living room in front of the fire, but I think this celebration should start off a little different than the last one."

Deacon smiled at her and stood up sweeping her into his arms. He kissed her passionately as he carried her into the bedroom resting her on the bed they'd shared a few months ago when they were there with the girls. As he lay her down he pulled back a second as Rayna started to unbutton Deacon's shirt.

"You're just so beautiful. Sometimes I look at you and I can't believe you're mine."

Rayna smiled at him as she ran her hands up and down his now bare chest and stomach. "I know how you feel. You are the sexiest man I've ever seen."

Deacon smiled throwing his shirt to the floor and quickly removed himself from his pants and boxers. Then he slowly unbuttoned Rayna's jeans and pulled her top over her head letting her mane of strawberry blond hair fan out on the pillow. He inched her pants down leaving a trail of searing kisses along every inch of her skin. Rayna had already removed her bra by the time he made it back up, and he proceeded to take her left breast in his mouth sucking on the nipple while his hand cupped the right one. Rayna let out a moan and he slid his hand down her body between her thighs feeling how wet she was. "Oh baby, I love you so much."

Rayna looked up into his eyes, and ran her hand over his shaft. "I love you too." Then she encouraged him to enter her wrapping both her legs around him as he adjusted to being inside of her. The feeling of being together like this, secure in their relationship, knowing there was no one else but the two of them was overwhelming. But as close as they were, Rayna felt that it was never enough. "Oh Babe, I feel like I can never get close enough to you. I just want to be one with you."

Deacon stroked her face and tenderly kissed her lips. "We are one, no can ever come between us again. I promise you that." The pair continued to make love reaching the ecstasy that could only come when the two of them were caught up in their own private world.

Afterwards Deacon was dozing off to sleep with Rayna wrapped tightly in his arms. He was just about to drift off when Rayna spoke. "There was a time when I thought we'd never be here, that this wasn't possible."

"I always knew it was. Even when everything was a mess, when I was so hurt, when I thought I'd never get over it. I knew this is where we'd end up. I just felt it in my bones."

Rayna kissed his chest as Deacon pulled her in tighter as the two of them finally drifted off to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks for everyone who commented and favorited this story. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I liked writing it. This is the last chapter.**

##

A couple of weeks later Deacon, Rayna, and Maddie were finishing up their tour at the Ryman in Nashville. Afterwards they had a big party at the Renaissance Hotel down the street. Everyone had come out for the concert: Scarlett, Gunnar, even Juliette came to support Maddie. Rayna let Daphne come despite the fact the party didn't get started until 10:30.

"This is your one and only time to stay up late this year, so no asking again, ok?"

"Alright mom, thanks for letting me come. I can't wait until I'm a teenager and I can sing with you guys too."

"Well let's just get you into the tween years first, alright?"

Daphne smiled and ran off to find Maddie. Rayna was walking around mingling. A bunch of local musicians came to support the fledgling musical family, and Rayna couldn't seem to make her way across the room without having to chat someone up about how wonderful Maddie was. She loved bragging about her daughter, but right now all she wanted was to take off her 5-inch heels. She looked around for Deacon but she couldn't find him anywhere. "Damn him," she thought. "I bet he snuck out after a quick hello." Deacon always hated parties like this.

In fact, she looked around and noticed most of her family was gone. She found Bucky in the corner talking to Vince Gill.

"Hey Buck, have you seen Deacon? Or the girls for that matter?"

"No, Ray I haven't. Though I thought I heard Maddie say she was going up to the roof to show Daphne the pool."

"I don't want those girls hanging out up there alone, I'm going to go find them."

"I'll go with you."

Bucky and Rayna took the elevator up to the roof. She didn't like being an overbearing mother, but Daphne was still young and she didn't like the idea of the two of them being up there all alone at 11:30 at night. When she stepped off the elevator she was greeted by a scene from a childhood fairytale. Tea lights were strung up around the deck and purple and white orchids were floating throughout the pool.

"No wonder they wanted to come up here. This is beautiful. There must have been some event happening here earlier in the evening."

"Bucky just nodded and smiled."

As they walked out towards the pool Rayna spotted Maddie and Daphne but they weren't alone. They were with Deacon, Tandy, and Scarlett.

"What's going on up here? I was wondering where all of you disappeared to."

Deacon stepped out of the crowd and walked over to Rayna. He took her hands in his and walked her over to a corner of the deck. Rayna wasn't sure what was going on and scanned the roof for signs from the rest of the family but everyone just beamed back at her with wide smiles.

"What's going on here Deacon?"

"Listen Ray, you know I love you."

Rayna smiled and shook her head.

He continued on. "I love you more than anything. I know we just got engaged but I'm tired of waiting. We should have gotten married years ago, and we would have if I hadn't been such a drunk."

"Hey," Rayna reached up to touch his face. "You're not a drunk, you're a recovering alcoholic."

Deacon smiled sweetly at her. She always was his best champion. "I don't want to wait any longer to be a family, to start that new chapter of our life. Marry me Rayna, tonight?"

Rayna looked around really noticing the ambiance for the first time. "Did you do all this? For us?"

"Yeah, and you see that guy over there?" Deacon pointed to a white haired older gentleman that Rayna hadn't noticed standing off to the side. "He's a minister, and if you'll have me he's going to marry us."

Rayna's eyes opened wide, "Right now?"

Deacon laughed. "Yeah, right now."

"I'm not even dressed for a wedding."

"You could be naked and I wouldn't care," Deacon flashed a big smile. "Actually maybe I'd prefer you naked."

Rayna elbowed him lightly in the side, "Well that comes later."

"Hey, if you really want a dress and everything we don't have to do this now, but you know me, I don't care about any of that stuff. All I care about is being with you. I just don't want to waste any more time."

Rayna looked into his eyes, and all she saw was the love he felt for her, and the feeling almost overwhelmed her. "OK, let's do this thing."

They walked back over to meet the rest of the family. "So girls, do you think I should do this?"

Both Maddie and Daphne smiled at her and shook their heads. "We helped Deacon decorate," Daphne chimed in. "He was going to do rose petals, but we suggested orchids instead."

"Well y'all, the orchids are just beautiful."

She looked over at Tandy. "I'm surprised to see you here. I thought you'd be the last person in support of me marrying Deacon."

"Listen, you're my sister, and I just want you to be happy, and right now you look ecstatically happy. How can I argue with that?"

Deacon took Rayna's hands in his and everyone got into position. Rayna was shaking a little. She couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"Don't be nervous. I'm going to make you the happiest woman on earth."

"Hey, no starting the vows until the minister says so," Scarlett interjected.

They both smiled and the minister began.

"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to join Deacon Claybourne and Rayna Wyatt in holy matrimony. Marriage is not a sprint, but a marathon made up of steep hills and distant valleys. No one has been on a longer journey to get to this point than Deacon and Rayna, but they have managed to weather the road together, supporting each other, and loving each other, even when it was from afar. Today, they finally take the step to not only be joined by their undying love, but to enter into a binding contract under god and law to state that they are a family."

Rayna could already see the tears starting to form in Deacon's eyes and it made her cry as well.

The minister turned to Deacon. "Deacon, would you like to start the vows?"

Deacon wiped the tears away from his eyes then pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. He looked at it a second than shook his head and stuffed it in his pocket.

"I don't need this. Rayna, my love. I wrote this eloquent speech but looking at it I realize you've heard it all before. I could tell you how I promise to always make you happy, to never drink again, to be there for you and the girls, but in the end it comes down to one thing, you and I, we're two halves of a whole, and without each other we're broken. I don't want to be broken anymore. We've both known since we were kids that this is where we belong. I could say I'm sorry it took us so long to get here, but in the last year I've just come to realize that this has been our path. All the heartache, all the struggles, it's made us what we are today. It's made us appreciate this moment all the more. I love you Rayna, and I'm so glad you're my home."

Rayna smiled through her tears never letting go of Deacon's hand through the entire vow. She turned and smiled at the family.

"Well I didn't have anything prepared since I didn't exactly know this was happening, but here goes."

She turned back to Deacon, staring into his eyes. "Deacon, I try to find the words to describe the way I feel about you, and I almost can't find them. I've written them in gut wrenching lyrics, in achingly beautiful melody, but nothing comes close to touching the joy and pain that you can create within my soul. Since the moment we met it's always been you Babe. Over the years my friends and family have said I'm crazy for holding on to you, to us, but they've never understood, it was never a choice. Giving up on you would have been like giving up on breathing. I love you Babe, and I can't wait to be your wife."

It wasn't the end of the ceremony yet, but Deacon reached out and kissed Rayna softly on the lips.

"Hey, we're not at that part yet," the minister protested, and everyone laughed.

"Let's move on to the ring, shall we? Deacon?"

Deacon reached into his pocket and pulled out the silver band he'd given Rayna all those years ago when he first proposed. It had been his grandmother's ring that his grandfather had given her when they'd come from the old country landing on the shores of Virginia and trekking hundreds of miles down to Appalachia. Rayna was shocked.

"Where did you get that? I thought it was in my jewelery box? How did you even know I had it."

"The girls told me. Maddie said you kept a silver band that she always asked about and you would just say a dear friend gave it to you once. I wondered if it was my ring, so she snuck in and got it for me."

Rayna smiled and looked at her girls. "Look at you two being all sneaky." The girls smiled back and Rayna could see that Maddie had tears in her eyes watching her parents finally become the family they should have always been.

Deacon slipped the ring on Rayna's finger, then Tandy stepped forward and gave Rayna a ring for Deacon. She slipped hers on his finger pushing it gingerly to make it over the knuckle that had been broken in the accident. Once the rings were on they looked up into each other's eyes and smiled not taking their eyes off of each other as the minister pronounced them husband and wife.

Deacon was overcome with joy. He couldn't believe that after all this time she was really his wife. He pulled Rayna into his arms almost inappropriately kissing her for a public place. Rayna heard Daphne make an "Eww" sound and laughed against his lips. He pulled away slightly so they could see each other again. "Hi beautiful," he whispered softly. "Hi," she replied. Then they turned back to the family.

"I know it's late," Rayna started, "but who wants to party?"

Everyone cheered and made it back down to the party where most of the room was wondering where the guests of honor had gone. Standing in the corner Deacon came up behind Rayna and wrapped his arms around her waist tightly. Then he buried his head in her hair kissing her cheek.

"You happy?"

"Yeah, I'm happy." Rayna pulled his arms around her tighter, and looked over at the girls joking around with Scarlett. "We're happy. Our family is happy."

- The End


End file.
